Those of you who read MMO Fallout know that I’m a hardcore gamer with hardcore gamer needs. Coffee? Forget that casual nonsense, I mainline Red Bull and Mountain Dew via IV drip 24 hours a day. I’ve had six heart attacks in the last forty five seconds, but you wouldn’t know it while I’m 360 no-scope headshotting scrubs and getting those chicken dinners. Are chicken dinners still a thing? Time to floss dance.
Anyway, I had the opportunity to score a sample pack of FPS gaming supplement in devastated dew flavor. This isn’t a sponsored article, but it absolutely can be. First thing I want to say about this packet is that it tells me I am absolutely going blind. Maybe it’s just the small print but I can’t read the back of the package without a magnifying glass. Actually it might be the lack of focus from not having FPS in my body.
So you mix the package with 8-12 oz of water. Since I’m not a baby, I decided to use as little water as recommended. I also chose my toxic consumer advocacy mug to drink this out of, since I thought it would be funny that if FPS kills me that my death be somewhat related to a SidAlpha product. Some fuel for those Kotaku “the gaming industry just got a little better” articles that would no doubt follow.
This stuff doesn’t look great.
But how does it taste? FPS Devastated Dew tastes a bit like flat Mountain Dew that someone dropped battery acid into. It starts out on the sweet side but you quickly get kicked in the teeth with a very bitter aftertaste that digs deep into your throat and nestles in the back of your tonsils and refuses to go away. It has the same bitterness like chewing on the rind of an orange, and I’d hate to call it painful to drink, but it is. It really is.
I understand the bitterness since the ingredient list is just a ton of bitter components and no sugar, but it doesn’t change the fact that every time I burp I get the taste of stomach acid in my mouth. It probably doesn’t help that against my better judgment I forced myself to drink the entire cup.
So how well does it work? I will admit, pretty well. It does exactly what it says it does and I found myself more energetic, better focused, and video games. Also video games. Don’t judge me.
Video games.
MMO Fallout 