Hotcakes: Kritika Global’s Accolades Are Borderline Fraud

Promoting a game that basically doesn’t exist.

I’ve had something sticking in my craw for the last couple of weeks, basically since I wrote about Kritika Global returning to Steam and still sucking. And for the record, Kritika Global on Steam sucks. It’s somehow even more user unfriendly than the last time it rebooted, and I don’t think the folks at ALLM quite comprehended just how little people would care about the third relaunch with much of its functionality stripped away, as Kritika Global peaked at 84 users and has gone down like a greasy fart in a small elevator.

But what really caught my eye was the sidebar for the Steam page where ALLM decided to post awards for Kritika Global. Here’s the thing; Kritika Global has no awards. It will never receive any awards, and it does not deserve any awards. In a show of desperation, the folks at ALLM yanked awards from MMO Site and Massively OP from 2017.

Some might call this borderline fraudulent. Me, I call it blatantly fraudulent. Attributing accolades to a version of the game that the websites did not review and in at least one case due to their policy regarding blockchain games wouldn’t even give the time of day for coverage. To say Massively OP called Kritika Global the “best new MMO” of the year is fraudulent. Straight up, on its face, no questions about it, fraudulent. It serves as a reminder to the desperate nature of the game’s third relaunch.

Kritika Global may be at its core the Kritika Online that Massively OP gave a “best new MMO” award to in 2017, but the game’s mechanics and monetization have been twisted and bastardized over the years to create a form I’m fairly confident that the website wouldn’t willingly put their name behind. It’s also not going to convince anyone who tries the game out and finds out there’s a $50 surcharge for character slots.

Like Al Bundy, Kritika is trying to coast on its meager accolades from five years ago to little success or positive recognition.

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