Tag: Vex

Diaries From Destiny 2: Milky Vex Nipple Christmas Cookies


The MMO Fallout lawyers have informed me that I cannot legally say that the Vex in Destiny 2 have nipples. But I’ve seen them. Up close.

I wanted to talk about Destiny 2 because I’ve been playing this game quite a bit since the new season launched. Destiny 2 is in the midst of what you might refer to as a “Christmas Event,” notably because the event is taking place around Christmas and includes such things as sleighs and other Christmas-themed delights. In addition to the Christmas event, Destiny 2 is also knee deep in Season 9 and the accompanying storyline.

For today, let’s go through the Christmas event since it is what I based the title of this article around. The Dawning 2019 is the latest edition of the winter-themed event and has you once again going around collecting ingredients to bake up cookies in your Destiny-themed Easy Bake Oven®. You get ingredients based on what creature you killed and how you killed them, like “delicious explosive” is from explosive weapons and chitin powder comes from the Hive mobs. You also get rather disgusting ingredients, like cabal oil. I’m not sure what I find more off-putting, the fact that the Vex (a race of time-traveling robots) drop milk or that the Taken drop their milk pre-churned into butter. Or maybe it’s the idea of taking these ingredients and baking delicious cookies out of them.

Thankfully my automated Vex nipple-plucker will take care of the need to farm that resource. Patent pending. You can milk anything with nipples. The good news is that the Holiday Oven 2.0 app has evidently retained all recipes that you baked last year, and includes something new to get those appetites whetted. Vex milk.

All of this is a fancy way of getting you out into the world and completing activities, and you’ll need to complete those activities because every recipe is founded in one common ingredient: Essence of Dawning. The only way to get that ingredient is to complete events. Lots and lots of public events, as each event grants 5 essence and you’ll need 15 per cookie. 10 per cookie if you bake every recipe and upgrade your oven, and I would recommend putting a priority on completing your recipe list. You don’t need to complete last year’s recipes again if you already did that.

The holiday event is fine, by which I mean it is absolute bull shee-ite once you are hundreds of kills deep and still can’t convince the game to drop one of those Personal Touch ingredients that is rarely dropped via melee kills. In my humble and expert opinion, the Dawning event is best completed as a side-thing that you make progress toward while doing the main grind which is Sundials and leveling up your obelisks for the current season.

Destiny 2: Vex Offensive Final Assault Closes Out Season


The Season of the Undying ends in just a couple of weeks and Bungie has dropped what should be the final bit of content progression as of today.

This season’s story focus has been mainly on the Vex, a skeevy group of time-traveling terminators hell bent on merging all realities into one singular timeline where the Vex rule all and there is no light or darkness. The Guardians (players) of Destiny’s story have repeatedly thwarted the plots of the Vex, culminating in the Curse of Osiris expansion where Guardians rescued Osiris from the Vex and virtually crippled their forces.

As of the start of the season Guardians had opened a portal to the Black Garden, birthplace to the Vex, and killed two very important pieces of the Vex hive mind. Kicking off the season in response, the Vex launched a mass invasion of the moon. Over the course of the season, Guardians have been working with Ikora Rey to handle the Vex invasion on two fronts; shutting down gate portals as they appear on the moon itself, and running raids on the Black Garden in order to put a stop to it once and for all. The raids on the Black Garden led players to the Undying Mind, and thus where the story is today.

Being creature that exist on multiple timelines and realities, the Undying Mind can’t just be destroyed once, it must be destroyed in all of the timelines that it exists. Therefore players must act as a community and kill the Undying Mind over, and over, and over again. The final offensive is virtually identical to the prior version except slightly more difficult. You go through the same motions of defeating two areas of Vex while simultaneously grinding Ikora’s daily missions, and instead of another giant Vex creature you have to bring the shields down on before you can kill him you get a different giant Vex you need to do the same on.

Regardless, it appears that the conclusion of this season will somehow lead into or become the catalyst for the next season that Bungie has planned. What could it be? Maybe the Drifter will become corrupted by the darkness he harnesses and end up going evil (as seems to be common with people who wield darkness in Destiny’s universe).

Only time will tell.