I Wanted To Write An Atlas Rogues Impressions Piece

But I couldn’t.

Now that my new keyboard has been delivered by Amazon I wanted to write an impressions piece on Atlas Rogues, the rogue-lite turn based tactics game launched by Gamigo today. I wanted to, but I won’t. Because I can’t.

Because Atlas Rogues doesn’t work.

I know, it’s a tale as old as time. Game launches in Early Access, it’s tied to a Trion property, and it boils in a pool of its own drool. At first the launcher wouldn’t start. Then the game would get stuck on an infinite loading screen. Then the game crashed out whenever I tried to boot up a new session. Then the session got stuck in an infinite loading screen. Now the game doesn’t seem to be able to navigate a 3mb patch and the patcher keeps trying to reinstall the game wholesale.

So I’m not going to write my Atlas Rogues impression because I can’t play the game. For what it’s worth, the little that I did play seemed to be good fun. The ten minutes that I managed to fiddle around with the turn based systems and the fighters during the tutorial level. That seemed pretty cool.

The full game, though? Busted like a cracked drainage pipe.