[NM] Lara Croft GO


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The GO series turned out to be a real surprise hit when Square Enix announced Hitman GO for iOS and Android way back in the far flung past of 2014. You could cut the skepticism for Hitman GO with a knife, a rather cynical look toward what was perceived as the first steps of a company taking its IP down the dark hole of low quality mobile ports.

Thankfully, we were all wrong.

Next to Hitman GO, Lara Croft GO is easily the most satisfying puzzle game in recent memory and will likely remain so at least until Deus Ex Go hits. For the purpose of the review, I played Lara Croft Go on a Surface Pro 4 purchased through the Windows Store. The game is regularly $4.99, but is currently on sale for $1.99 for the next few days (as of July 8th, 2016).

At its core, Lara Croft GO is a fairly simple turn-based puzzle game. Movement of Lara and the creatures that inhabit each level are confined to a grid, forcing the player to take advantage of hanging from walls, using pitfalls traps, moving columns, and thinking several steps ahead to fight her way to the end of each area.

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Creatures in each zone will kill you if you stand in front of them, and can only be killed from behind or the side, or from afar with very limited weaponry. As you get further into the game, these creatures also become part of the puzzle itself, to be strategically herded or pushed to perfectly time your own movements.

There is a tendency in Lara Croft GO to fake the player out when it comes to repetitive puzzle solving. For instance, one level of the game has you using a specific climbing trick in order to trap and kill a lizard in order to clear your path ahead. Directly after, you come across another lizard in what appears to be an identical puzzle. Your instinct is to use the same technique, and for a moment you think the developers got lazy. Then you get to the end of the level and realize that, no, you actually had to get the lizard to tail you so he could flip the switch at the right moment.

And that’s the genius of Lara Croft GO, every time you lose and have to reset you learn a little more about the game. Every failure tends to be accompanied with the recognition of what was done wrong, what step was missed, and how to get a little further the next time around. It also stands to how well thought out each puzzle is that the game lets you think you’ve outsmarted the developers just long enough to make it all the more embarrassing when the game knocks you down a peg.

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The slow paced nature of Lara Croft GO means that, no matter how difficult the puzzle, you always have plenty of time to take in the surroundings and plan your next course of action. For $5, it’s a steal that will last you a couple of afternoons, more so if you decide to hunt down all of the collectibles. Like most puzzle games, there isn’t much in the way of replayability.

Regardless, Lara Croft GO is a gem proving the potential of mobile gaming that leaves you begging for more.

Score: A+ – No regrets

Additional notes – I deliberately left out any mention of the in-app purchases since they are mostly useless. For $4.99 you can unlock the puzzle solutions, which is pointless because walkthroughs exist for free. The game also sells a $1.99 pack of 3 costumes, purely cosmetic and ultimately pointless. 

Review: Dead Island Definitive Edition


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Dead Island Definitive Edition is a perfect example of how bribery can turn a disinterested customer into a willing participant. Given my massive backlog of games to play and write about, I would normally have no interest in buying Dead Island again. On the other hand, owning both games on Steam meant bringing the price down to a measly $3 apiece. That I can get behind.

It’s been five years since Dead Island first emerged on PC and consoles, and I find it hard to believe that the gaming community has been clamoring for an HD remake. Dead Island and Riptide were a decent product that most of us played and moved on from, spending a bit of time in Escape From Dead Island and wholly ignoring the dumpster fire that was the Dead Island MOBA.

At this stage, remaking the original two games is likely just to satiate the base’s hunger while we wait for the perpetually delayed Dead Island 2.

If you want to sum up Dead Island in one sentence, imagine Borderlands and Far Cry had a love child. You play as one of several characters, each with their own weapon specialty, as they try to survive a zombie apocalypse on a tropical island. You’ll find and upgrade weapons, take missions, earn experience, and level up to put points into a skill tree.

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If you like your games unfairly difficult, Dead Island is right up your alley. No matter how much you level up in Dead Island, your character always feels underpowered and ill-equipped. Weapons have the shelf life of a fruit fly, breaking constantly even after fully upgrading them and investing in perks that extend durability. Stamina, no matter how far you level up, is constantly an issue and will result in countless frustrating moments of being knocked to the ground and sitting through the painful process of waiting to stand back up.

The first person nature of Dead Island also plays poorly as a game that requires depth perception in order to properly survive. That, coupled with the fact that the game has clear issues with hit detection, can make it impossible to tell if you’re standing too far away to kick a zombie or if they are simply walking through your foot, because poor programming makes both an equal culprit.

Despite these complaints, Dead Island has its moments of greatness. The zombies themselves are still some of the best in the industry, disgusting creatures with various chunks of flesh ripped out of their bodies, exposing all sorts of organs. The shrieks that some of the zombies emit can be downright terrifying.

There is also a lot of humor to pull from Dead Island, whether intentional or not. Enemies knocked to the ground have a tendency to break limbs, and often their own necks, dying instantly and in rather silly fashion. In one moment, I threw my machete which embedded itself in the head of an approaching zombie. The zombie awkwardly fell, breaking his arm and killing him instantly.

The characters themselves are one-liner spewing robots, inconsiderate of their surroundings. In one mission, a man virtually on his death bed asked me to find and take care of his brother, a diabetic who desperately needed insulin. As I hit the “accept” button, Sam let out a loud and enthusiastic “well shit, why not?”

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Weapons, when they are functioning as intended, are immensely satisfying. Sharp weapons have the ability to chop off limbs/decapitate while blunt weapons can break limbs. You’ll find blueprints and rare weapon drops that craft and wield melee weapons that can inflict elemental damage on zombies.

The difficulty hits the underdog gene that many gamers will identify, when the perceived lack of fairness is what motivates you to keep going, rather than to call your investment a loss and go back to whatever you were playing before.

Dead Island does suffer from death spiral, with every death siphoning a fair amount of money from your coffers. Considering how expensive everything in the game is, including the money sink to constantly repair your best weapons, a bad play session coupled with some unfair deaths is all it takes to drain both your in-game wallet and your desire to keep playing.

Ultimate, Dead Island Definitive Edition is a positive if mediocre experience. With all of its flaws, there is still a fair amount of fun to be had and I do not regret the $3 that I dropped on both titles. Leveling is ancillary to the zombie killing and trash weapons are constantly dropping to supplant the other items you use once your one or two decent items need to be repaired.

I would have liked to see more of Dead Island’s technical issues fixed in the remake, problems that feel like they could have been cleared in the original release with a couple more months of development. Several years later, the notion that Deep Silver worked on and re-released both titles without addressing those flaws is disappointing to say the least.

If you own Dead Island and Riptide on Steam, you have until August 1st to pick up the definitive editions of both titles for $3 apiece.

Rating: C – Mediocre

Impressions: Homefront The Revolution


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If there is a recent game that screams “rent me from Redbox for a day,” Homefront is that game. Not mind-numbing terrible, not jaw-dropping awesome. It’s competent, mostly, but has severe problems that might make you want to wait for a few weeks/months until they can be sorted out.

You have to feel sort of bad for the Korean People’s Army, this is the second game that they’ve been a major player in and they somehow manage to be even less competent than their counterparts in the first Homefront. In effect, Homefront tells the tale of an alternate reality where the Steve Jobs of the world isn’t an American hippy, but instead a North Korean who grows his business and not only takes over the tech industry but also becomes the world’s greatest weapons producer. We, naturally, become hooked on North Korean tech, from our smartphones to our weaponry. The United States, meanwhile, ignores all of its problems at home in favor of feeding its never ending desire for war in the middle east, eventually defaulting on its debts to Korea. In response, Korea “shuts off” all of the electronics in America and invades.

This is all you need to know on the “how seriously should I take the plot” meter, and it’s a very important frame of mind going forward to prevent yourself from asking potentially stupid questions like “in what universe would America become a major trader with Korea” or “why is this the second universe where the US is invaded and occupied yet none of our allies evidently tried to assist?” You have to sit back, partially shut your brain off, and recognize that this is a piece of fiction. Stuff will happen because the plot demands it, not because the writers have the capability or time to explain everything.

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One place where Homefront’s storytelling stood out to me is in the resistance aspect. Each zone has a number of chores you can take part in to win “hearts and minds,” (that’s what they call it) of the people, bringing them out of squalor and convincing them that now is the time to fight back. It’s actually pretty impressive to see the zones start out as desolate, depressing, and disillusioned and watch as people slowly begin protesting, culminating in all out riots and slaughtering police and collaborators. You also get to see the KPA become increasingly desperate to try and maintain order, as the public announcements become more aggressive and you start seeing liaisons and important figures popping up to boost support for occupying army.

As an open world game, Homefront mainly takes its cues from Far Cry 3 and 4. Apart from the story missions that help push the game along and act as a method of slowly handing you new weapons and gadgets, you’ll spend the rest of your time taking over territory, performing light jumping puzzles, and tuning radios to the resistance station. While the KPA doesn’t observe US sovereignty, evidently the new regime does abide by the Finders Keepers Accord of 1963, since the oppressive and far superior army won’t make any attempt to take back territory you’ve laid dibs to it. There are far more activities to complete than needed to liberate each zone and gain enough credits to unlock all of the upgrades, a welcome factor since they wear out like cheap sneakers.

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The weapon system in Homefront is a clear successor to that found in Crysis, where each weapon can be modified on the fly to either add on attachments or completely change the function of the gun. The modifications allow the game to take a small variety of guns and turn them into a crossbow, an uzi, a sniper, an assault rifle, a battle rifle, a pistol, rocket launcher, flamethrower, a couple types of shotguns, and more. My personal favorite, although not the most useful, is the freedom launcher, a grenade launcher that shoots red, white, and blue explosive fireworks. America.

The movement system in the game can be maddening at times, and rather helpful in others. The game lets you jump up to higher ledges, but you often have to be looking at exactly the right place and jump at exactly the right spot for it to register and pick you up. Other times, the game physically lifted my player up to a ledge that I had clearly missed by several feet. More often than not, I had troubles getting the game to recognize that the ledge I was jumping up to wasn’t too high, causing several deaths in the meantime. It’s a lot harder when you’re getting shot at.

Homefront: The Revolution has stealth mechanics, in theory. You spend the entirety of the game on the KPA’s hit list and, in one of their few displays of competence, all of the KPA soldiers have your face committed to memory or on display in their helmet hud if they have one. Civilians can be used as a buffer to take attention off of you as you walk the street, but there’s no point. Korean soldiers are so slow to recognize you that you could walk right past a group and round the corner before they even realize that you were there. The AI gets confused when you do crazy things like walk past a small tree or crouch behind a small rock, it stops thinking properly.

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But like the Zerg, the KPA has an extra ace up its sleeve. What your foe lacks in brains, he makes up for in quantity, and the longer you stick around the more soldiers will swarm on your position. Thankfully, or maybe not so much, death is but a mere distraction in Homefront. You lose your trinkets on death, pointless items that only serve to sell for money, and start at the nearest safe house with all of your progress intact.

There are a handful of serious technical problems that need to be addressed. Right now Homefront has this obnoxious little tick where it stalls for upwards of five or six seconds before catching up with itself every time the game auto-saves. Earlier on this isn’t as much of a problem, auto-saves only occur in safe houses. Later on, however, when Homefront starts auto-saving in the middle of firefights, then you start dying. I also noticed a major issue where enemies and allies would blink in and out of existence. A heavy KPA soldier was barreling toward me and just disappeared.

The multiplayer in Homefront is nothing to write home about. A handful of cooperative maps that pit four players against the KPA in a series of objectives. You level up through missions, gaining access to more gear and cooler cosmetics, but that’s it. The original Homefront’s multiplayer was a disappointing Call of Duty clone, this one feels more like a disappointing Left 4 Dead total conversion mod.

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The final words of Homefront, a note from the game director, shine a light on a positive future. We’re not finished yet, he says. There are several expansions coming over the next year, adding new zones and more content to the single player campaign. I’ll probably actually buy the game at some point in the meantime, but after finishing the campaign in two days and having no interest in going back to do more chores or playing the multiplayer, I’d say that this is worth a two day Redbox rental. Six bucks, no regrets.

I’m glad I played it, all things considered.

[Rant] How To Defeat Evil Game Scores Forever


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If you haven’t been paying attention to the news, the Washington Post has taken quite a bit of heat over its review of Uncharted 4 published just a few days ago. Some of you might be confused, since stating one’s opinion on video games isn’t known for inciting vitriol while others might not detect the sarcasm in this sentence. The rest of you are probably thinking “Washington Post reviews video games?”

Before we go on, the usual statement needs to be repeated: Given that we are talking about opinions on video games, and not how to go about convicting a serial killer, the people who have been posting death threats and death wishes to Michael Thomsen, the guy who wrote the review, can kindly see yourselves out of any further discussion. The same goes for the people spouting a variety of hate speech, a population that does not include the readers of this website who are in my opinion the cream of the crop in terms of netizens.

So with that in mind, I’ve decided to write a guide on how to beat game review scores.

The first step is to find a publication that reviews games, or even more than one, that you believe you can trust. You might have to stick with one or two websites for a while in order to get a feel for how the editors work, what they look for in games, and how they evaluate titles. In fact, these sources can easily be Youtubers, streamers, or just simple bloggers. Find the people whose interests and focus meshes with your own.

I say this because I can say with relative certainty that 90% (hyperbole) of the people piling onto the Washington Post review either have never read, or don’t generally use, the paper as a source for their game reviews. In fact, I’ll go further and say that the majority probably don’t read the Washington Post straight out. The opinion of their staff, let alone one guy writing a game review, didn’t matter until he gave this game a bad score. And by the time the Washington Post publishes its next game review, most of the people in the comments section will have returned to not reading the Washington Post.

And for the record, Michael Thomsen isn’t exactly an unknown entity in games media. Thomsen is known for taking a contrarian approach, slamming popular titles by giving them low review scores. Does it make him an expert on games? No, and the review itself isn’t particularly insightful when it comes to convincing the reader why the game isn’t good.

The second step is to avoid making your purchasing decisions based off of the aggregated opinions of a small handful of people you don’t know and whose opinions you probably don’t agree with or respect. This goes hand in hand with the step above, if you go to Metacritic and see that Uncharted 4 only has one review below an 80, from a guy at the Washington Post, and you decide not to buy the game…well that’s on you.

The problem with scores is that each publication has its own system on how it scores games. You can’t compare different metrics and aggregate a mean score, but Metacritic does it anyway. The problem isn’t with the reviewers, it exists solely on Metacritic’s side, determining arbitrarily who deserves representation.

This also goes for developers and publishers who make deals based on the game’s aggregate review score. Publishers who force developers into contracts that hold multi-million dollar bonuses ransom behind the opinions of a few editors. I’ll echo Adam Sessler when I say that publishers have a great way of figuring out how a game performed, it’s called the sales charts, you have access to them. Withholding bonuses because a game sold great but scored less-than-perfect is about as asinine as giving a bonus when a game tanks but scored really high.

And finally, the best step is to stop feeding the clickbait machine that is the internet. Let me be completely frank, the sponsored post you saw on Facebook about the dog that grabs a stick and you wouldn’t believe what happens next? Odds are you will, in fact, believe what happens next. Unbelievable, surely.

For everyone who fell into clickbait in order to leave a post complaining about clickbait or share the post to attract more traffic to said clickbait, well you’re feeding the monster. Without you, clickbait articles would be…well they’d still be easy money makers, but they’d be making less money. If you were to go by the ratio of “this is clickbait” comments, they’d be making no money at all.

The thing about clickbaity headlines is that they work, and the thing about review scores is that they work. If The Washington Post hadn’t scored Uncharted 4, would anyone be talking about their review? Yes, but it would be a small handful of people shaking their head and tutting “oh that Washington Post, they don’t really play games do they?” And that would be it. No wide attention, no Troy Baker, no nothing.

They work, and I say this as someone whose website doesn’t run ads, I still look at metrics. The more sensational a headline is, the more people pay attention to it, and the more likely they will share it.

But let’s stick in reality land, shall we? Ultimately Metacritic made the mistake in not treating the review as an outlier and ignoring it, something that any aggregator worth its salt does. It is the job of Metacritic to properly curate its list of reviewers and the job of readers to take Metacritic to task when it fails at its job.

Other than that, I have no opinion on the matter.

MMOments: Blade & Soul


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Blade & Soul is one of those games that we’ve been impatiently waiting to come westward for a few years now, and like any game that we are regularly told we can’t have, the hype train has gotten out of hand at one point or another. I think that the majority of gamers saw NCSoft’s “you can’t have this yet” attitude and recognized it as an issue of lengthy localization rather than an evil corporation withholding the greatest creation since sliced bread, but you know that there is someone out there that took the lengthy development delay as a sign that the game was being advertised as the second coming of Jesus.

If there is one thing you can expect from Korean MMOs it is that character features will be exaggerated and heavily sexualized, so naturally I created my character was created with the kind of booty you could rest a stereo on. I’m not entirely sure if the gliding and camera controls exist primarily to serve for gratuitous panty shots, but I’m not willing to rule it out at this time. Also, you should expect that all of the female characters have breasts that more closely resemble free hanging piles of Jello brand gelatin than actual human flesh, bouncing and bobbing with every small breeze.

That said, there are a lot of options for the character creator, honestly you could spend hours working on every little detail of your character’s physique.

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The characters of Blade & Soul are rather charming, even though I can’t remember their names and they have a tendency to die ala Game of Thrones not long after you meet them. Still, the characters are drawn from the anime school of ridiculous features, like the grandpa dog, the obnoxious kid who takes credit for everything, and whatever this is. The world looks beautiful, even with the parade of very well oiled men and women running about, reminiscent of a higher quality TERA or a more polished looking ArcheAge.

Combat in Blade & Soul is well paced, relying equally on mouse clicks and key presses. Your left mouse button is tied to a resource building attack while the right mouse button uses said resources. As you level up, you start to be able to use combos like, in the case of my sword-wielding character, knocking your opponent to the ground and stomping them while they are down. The rate at which you learn new techniques is just slow enough that you’ve mastered the previous lesson by the time the game is ready to teach you something new. It’s spaced out enough so that the player doesn’t get overwhelmed but (at least in the opening acts) hopefully doesn’t feel like the combat is growing stagnant.

The game throws in little things that keep the game flowing, like enemies that randomly drop bombs that can be used to take out or stun another mob. Ultimately, however, this is your standard MMO fare: You go into a village, take a bunch of quests, complete those quests, then move on to the next village. In no sense does the game feel like an open world, with players being ushered down what is effectively a single hallway ala Final Fantasy XIII, with a few dungeons hanging off to the side.

What impressed me is how the game handles equipment. For starters, your beginner weapon is supposed to stay with you for most, if not all of the game. Imagine the upgradeable epic weapons you get during end-game raids in other MMOs, and then picture getting that weapon right from the start. The weapons that you pick up along the way are more useful as upgrade materials. In addition, there isn’t much of an equipment selection. Instead of grinding for your usual selection of gloves, boots, legs, chest, and head pieces, you’ll gather accessories and soul shards. Soul shards come in one shape and fit into a wheel, offering various stat bonuses. Complete a wheel with a single soul shard set and you’ll unlock even more powerful bonuses.

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One small feature that I find myself appreciating is on logout, where the game tells you exactly what you’ve accomplished during that play session. It isn’t a major feature by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s a handy tool nonetheless. You also have access to a “daily dash,” a board game of sorts where you spin a wheel and obtain items the further you get. It appears to reset every month, and falls into the Korean MMO trope of throwing shinies at the player to keep them going.

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Now let’s get to some grievances. Blade & Soul is heavily instanced, with areas separated by portals that cause the game to hiccup whenever you pass through. While the drastic changes that some areas go through between and following quests are nice, it serves to highlight just how linear the game is, and how ultimately unimportant and forgettable each zone is, almost as if each one is an episode of a serialized anime.

The most obvious and present issue with Blade & Soul is the constant, endless, gold spam. The fact that it is insanely present on a Korean import title doesn’t surprise me, nor does NCSoft’s complete ineptitude at combating said spam despite operating MMOs for nearly twenty years. I would be less harsh were it not for the fact that Blade & Soul launched in 2012, yet still hasn’t figured out the most basic of bot protections. Let’s go over a few, shall we?

  • Severe limitations on chat for new/free accounts.
  • Level limitations on global chat channels.
  • A filter that can detect when the same message is being repeated across multiple accounts.
  • Safeguards at account creation that would prevent mass throwaway accounts.
  • A limitation on how often characters can be created/deleted.
  • A cooldown on sending messages to global chat channels.
  • Banning the use of proxies.
  • Banning Chinese IP addresses.
  • Making ignores account-wide instead of character-specific.
  • Having actual customer support.
  • The ability to easily report people in chat.

And finally, you need to squash the shit early, pardon my language, and start banning some Twitch streamers. Allowing popular streamers like Reckful to partner with illegal gold farming websites and make money off of a community form of cancer will do nothing but push away customers and make your company look feckless and corrupt. Generally I wouldn’t harp on gold spam in a game this close to launch, but Blade & Soul has had years to figure this stuff out and yet the spam is worse than pretty much any other MMO that I have ever played.

There is still a lot of ground to break in Blade & Soul, which I intend to do in the coming weeks. Despite the negative stuff I’ve said, the stuff that sets Blade & Soul apart, like how the game deals with loot and upgrading equipment, is keeping me playing.

MMO Fallout Says Goodbye To 2015’s Dearly Departed


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2015 is over and that means paying respect to the recently departed, games with no servers and developers without jobs. While the year brought with it plenty of new games, it also marked the end of others and whether or not those games continue to live on through unofficial, community-run private servers is another story.

Let’s reminisce on a few of them.

1. Face of Mankind

Seeing games like Face of Mankind never become truly popular and then die out due to the venom of its own design is disappointing, but alas 2015 was the year that the crowd funded reboot to the sandbox title was finally put to rest and given its proper burial: Six feet under. In theory, it was a great idea: Factions made up entirely of players that would function as a working society with police, miners, terrorists, etc. In practice, however, the game quickly devolved into a free for all deathmatch with no limit to the drama of “you broke the ceasefire,” “no you broke it first” on the forums.

Games like this tend to work, in theory, until you enter the troll factor and compensate for the idea that player vs player deathmatch is the easiest form of emergent gameplay in a sandbox environment. Combine it with a system that both allows players to endlessly respawn and try to take out as many people as they can before they are killed, and the inability of players tasked with enforcing the peace to have any real stopping power, and you have a title that new players could log into, find little more than random grenade spam, and subsequently log out and uninstall.

Ultimately, Face of Mankind was an old game with a niche audience. Not even Steam could change that.

2. Dragon’s Prophet (North America)

This is one of a few on our list this year that shut down not due to the game itself but because of the publisher. Dragon’s Prophet is still alive and not-exactly kicking in Europe and Asia, however when Sony Online Entertainment transitioned into Daybreak Game Company and refused to place Dragon’s Prophet on the All Access list, it was pretty obvious that the publisher was looking to cut ties. As part of its cost cutting measures, Daybreak brought everything in house, laid off a bunch of employees, and fired Storybricks. Later on we learned that the two companies would be cutting ties and that Dragon’s Prophet would be shutting down in North America.

So by that measure, Dragon’s Prophet is the only one of this list that can still be played in an official capacity. Creating an account and playing on the European servers is feasible and, in my experience, doesn’t come with any lag.

3. RaiderZ

Again, a victim of corporate play. In this case, Perfect World Entertainment was unable to do anything with the game due to the closure of the game’s developer MAIET. Rather than go through the process of hiring another studio or bringing some people on board to continue development, costs that would have likely outweighed any potential income that the game might receive due to the extra attention, Perfect World decided to call it a day and shut the game down.

As far its library was concerned, Perfect World had a lot higher quality games to invest its money into rather than pouring it into what was an enjoyable but otherwise generic Korean import with a lot of grind and not a big audience. At least they had the decency to reimburse players who’d spent money on it.

4. Archlord 2

If you haven’t noticed, this list every year has a majority stake of Korean imports, and is also severely incomplete. If I took the time to track down every MMO imported from China or Korea that shut down months after launch, I’d have to start this list in January and there would probably be closer to 100 titles. If I included every MMO in China and Korea that shut down this year, it’d probably be closer to a thousand. So instead, I keep the list confined to the games that were released westward, noteworthy enough to be covered here and on other major western gaming websites, meaning you won’t see any one of the numerous titles that R2 Games or Steparu quietly launched and just as quietly shut down.

So while Dragon’s Prophet is the result of publisher bailout and RaiderZ is the victim of developer absence, Archlord 2 went down due to the simple lack of community interest. We knew this was going to be an issue back when the game was still bound to Korea and was already merging servers during beta with players still having trouble forming public groups. The game wasn’t well received in Korea and it wasn’t well received here. Before they had the chance to bury Archlord, its successor was already on its death bed.

5. Transformers Universe

Not an MMO, but worthy of mention because it is Jagex and this is a game that I had marginally more optimism for than their usual new game announcements. The idea of Jagex working on a game based on a third party IP, ideally, meant that there would be an outside force pushing and prodding and ensuring that the game was being developed efficiently and without the waffling that usually ends up delaying and tanking Jagex’s other projects. Ultimately, however, it seems that the addition of a second player just meant one more hand to pull the plug.

But Transformers Universe is a perfect example of a popular game killer, when a title sees a dramatic turn in development focus and jumps genres halfway through development (or in this case less than a year before it was initially supposed to launch), forcing the team to scramble to effectively start over while still driving toward that initial launch date. It’s like being assigned to cook a lasagna with the expectation that it will be done before noon, only to be told at 11:30 when it’s already in the oven that instead the task is to make bolognese. You’ll get it done, late, and it won’t be as good as making it from scratch because all you have is the ingredients for lasagna, plus some half cooked lasagna, and some stuff left over in the cabinet.

6. Infinite Crisis

Again, not an MMO, but noteworthy regardless. Similar to Transformers Universe, the demise of Infinite Crisis is an important reminder on two fronts: First, that the MOBA market is saturated to the point where your game has to be something special or noteworthy on a design or monetary level in order to maintain the healthy userbase required to keep it going. Second, that big IPs mean absolutely nothing in the ‘games as a service’ genres of MOBA and MMO where you rely on long term revenue rather than the first month.

I wrote an editorial at the time of Infinite Crisis shutting down and its bullet points are still applicable today, probably even more so.

The Park Is A Decidedly Creepy Game Appetizer


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(Editor’s Note: The screenshots in this review are provided by Funcom to the press. While I wanted to provide my own shots, none of my screenshot grabbing tools or even Steam were able to capture screenshots for some unknown reason)

With all the news about Funcom’s death spiral, being one of the few game developers to actually be charged and convicted for misleading the public (specifically investors) about their game, the recent flop that was Lego Minifigures Online, and the company’s ongoing and increasingly seemingly desperate financial situation, it’s nice to finally be able to talk about the Funcom that you and I know and love most: The one that tells a really good story.

The Park is, as previously discussed, the first in a line of experimental products by Funcom to put out games on a very low budget, at higher frequency, and to allow the team to gauge community reactions and see what works. Funcom’s first dive into the experimental market comes in the form of a $10 atmospheric walking simulator along the lines of Dear Esther or The Stanley Parable. If I had to sum the game up solely by it’s functions, it would be this: You walk around, get spooked, read things, ride rides, and get spooked.

Players take the role of Lorraine, self professed worst mother ever, as she goes searching for her lost son Callum in the spooky Atlantic Island Park that will be very familiar to those who have played The Secret World. In order to uncover the truth behind Callum’s disappearance, you’re going to need to dive into the deepest recesses of Lorraine’s disturbed mind, not to mention dig into the bloody past of the park itself. Not only does the park have a lot of secrets to hide, so does Lorraine as it becomes evident from the start that your narrator isn’t exactly reliable.

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Like most good horror sets, The Park holds off on the spooky just long enough to lull you into a false sense of security, in the form of a long and (looking at the forums) divisive scene where the game tells the entire story of Hansel and Gretel while you ride through a spooky tunnel of love. It is at this point where the game starts to play the spooky dial like an instrument, turning it up and down at just the right moments before breaking the knob off at 11 for a final crescendo.

Now, those of you who know me are aware that I tend to be pretty hard on the horror genre, I regard a majority of horror media as lazy and uninspired, and have very little patience or regard for games/movies that consider sudden, loud screaming noises and spooky pictures as “scary.” Good horror involves getting into the player’s head, making them afraid to continue rather than simply being anxious in anticipation of the next loud noise/spooky image jump scare.

With that, I have to say that The Park has a lot of great, genuinely creepy scenes in it. Yes, the game does have a few jump scares and they are lame, easily spotted, and predictable, but they’re overshadowed by the park’s other attractions, each one given a fair amount of buildup and prolonged fright that is lacking even in other horror “walking simulator” games. I’d even go as far as comparing The Park to Amnesia: The Dark Descent.

One place where the game falls short, but not really, is in the danger zone, the fact that the game doesn’t have a fail state or any real threat to pile on to the player. Ultimately, it’s like a haunted house at a theme park. You’re spooked but there’s the lingering thought in the back of your mind that nothing you encounter will actually harm you. Hopefully.

The pendulum swings both ways, as going back to my previous comparison, while the monsters in Amnesia added heavily to the immersion and terror, hunting down the player and rattling endlessly, death also tended to break the flow that the game had taken so long to establish and build up. It’s an issue that has supporters on both sides, but The Park will play towards those that don’t want to worry about having to reload a level multiple times in order to progress.

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Where the game truly shines is in the voice acting of Lorraine, whose demeanor swiftly cycles through frightened, terrified, and downright deranged over the course of the game’s events. Her internal monologues err on the side of hit or miss, some offering useful missives about whatever is going on on-screen, the others apparently being the random thoughts of a questionable mind. The “right click to call Callum” function, as hyped as it was in the game’s advertising run, is functionally useless and serves no purpose to the game other than to break immersion. It does, however, highlight the relatively poor voice acting of Callum and probably spoil the ending for those of you steeped in horror tropes.

While Lorraine’s voice actress does an impeccable job, I simply couldn’t get involved in the story of the duo, and in this sense the story writers at Funcom might be insane geniuses. The entire plot revolves around Lorraine’s apparent desperate attempt to save her son, a narrative that doesn’t exactly work when you’re constantly stopping to play in the park. It doesn’t help that Callum immediately presents himself as a character worth hating, leaving me to wonder several times why anyone would bear this nightmare in order to save his useless and evidently ungrateful ass. As it turns out, that’s exactly what the game is going for, as Lorraine actually doesn’t seem to be in too much of a rush to save her son and even contemplates leaving him there.

And that’s where it all comes full circle into The Park being a narrative about the nightmare that is parenthood, sacrificing your life and sanity all for a being that isn’t grateful and is never satisfied. I’ve seen a lot of comparisons to Silent Hill and I get it, the two share a lot in common thematically. The Park, like Silent Hill, isn’t centered on the spooky location, that’s basically a side character in the whole plot. The real plot is in the head of the protagonist, and how the world changes to mirror their experiences.

While The Park is a pretty full experience, those who haven’t played The Secret World will be let down by an ending that doesn’t wrap things up as much as it should. In order to fully understand the plot, you’ll need to play through the area as it exists in the MMO.

For a one hour, $10 game, I found The Park to be well worth its money. It looks good, plays decently, and makes me look forward to Funcom’s next experiment.

Direct 2 Netflix Episode 3: Bad Asses on the Bayou


For those of you who don’t follow this website regularly, Direct 2 Netflix is a podcast project I’m working on with a few of my friends where we watch and talk about movies that came out this year and bypassed the theater (or at least were not widely released). As you know, I’ve talked about adding more media content and likely branching outside of the realm of MMOs. The movies we talk about aren’t inherently bad, although most didn’t miss the theaters because they were just that good.

Each new episode is expected to come out on Saturday.

This week we looked at the third movie in the Bad Ass series, Bad Asses on the Bayou starring Danny Trejo, Danny Glover, and John Amos.

Weekend Wrapper: Still Not E3 Edition


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This week marks a special occasion here at MMO Fallout, in that once again I am branching out. Check out the first episode of my weekly movie review podcast, Direct 2 Netflix. If you enjoy it, please subscribe and keep listening. We’ll have new episodes out hopefully every Monday.

As usual, the weekend wrapper looks at new games, news, and editorials from all over the web. If you have any articles to share, shoot it to us in an email to contact[at]mmofallout[dot]com.

MMO News:

  • APB Reloaded is getting a server merge and new engine.
  • Lego Universe was hindered by dong detection software and high costs of customer support.
  • ArcheAge’s ongoing server FAQ isn’t complete, nor are the answers final.
  • Jagex details RuneScape’s upcoming updates.
  • Daybreak Game Company is focusing its development on Everquest Next over Landmark.

In Other News:

  • Steam introduces 14 day refund policy.
  • Xbox One 1gb bundle leaked. (Via Eurogamer)
  • Lucas hits Smash Bros on June 14th (Via Eurogamer)
  • XCOM 2 is PC exclusive and won’t support gamepads at launch. (Via Polygon)
  • Fallout 4 confirmed. (Via Giant Bomb)
  • Dota 2 prize pool tops $11 million. (Via IGN)

Opinion Section:

Notable Releases:

[Less Massive] Direct 2 Netflix Episode 1: It’s A Podcast!


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This is a bit of self-promotion.

I’d like to divert your attention to a project I’m doing on the side, to test the whole podcasting waters. The show is called Direct 2 Netflix, hosted by myself and two of my acquaintances, where we review bad movies that are already on Netflix DVD.

The goal is to have a new episode out every Monday (meaning the next one will come out in a few days). The microphone is a bit shaky in some areas, but we’ll have a better one for next week. In this podcast, we look at the film The Intruders, starring Miranda Cosgrove and Donal Logue.

If you like it, subscribe and share!