Tag: Steam

Steam Cleaned: Valve’s Latest Ban Wave Tastes Like Laundering


As has become a nearly weekly occurrence, Valve has instituted another ban wave of Steam games and once again it tastes like money laundering.

I’ve been talking about Steam games being used for money laundering for quite a while now, and it’s obvious that the problem isn’t going to be going away any time soon. Back in January I pointed out that there are a lot of games on Steam sitting at suspiciously expensive prices that appear to be asset flips or ports of mobile games. A week later, I reported that some of the titles had gotten the boot while others were still at large.

Still every so often Valve takes a hammer to some of these suspicious looking games. The image in the header is from the game Push Sticks, and it may surprise you to hear that this game was selling for $30. Well “selling” is a strong word because the game had activity for four days in mid-January and then fell off the charts again. But Push Sticks isn’t exactly an anomaly in my research, since many of the other titles we see get the banhammer fall into the same realm of activity. Ridiculous prices, no activity from the developer, and few if any actual play activity. Also oddly expensive specifically in China.

Someone noted that the first level in Push Sticks appears to be impossible to finish, and the game itself might be totally fake since all we see in promotional screenshots are the first level.

Figuring out how many copies of Push Sticks were bought is next to impossible, and it’s not like Valve is going to tell us. The next title on the chopping block was Wear A Rope which conveniently also launched on January 4, also cost $30, and also looks like baby’s first prototype game.

Am I saying that Push Sticks and Wear A Rope are from the same person/team? Yes. Or run through the same horrible translator. Let’s just look at the product description for Wear A Rope;

“You use a rope and a ring to play. It looks simple, but the operation is very difficult. See how long you can persist. A game that looks very simple, but the difficulty is very large, you can pass you Boring time.”

Compared to:

Push sticks – it’s a puzzle game

Introduction – this is a small game of pushing stakes. It seems to be very simple to you, but it is very difficult to play it

How to play – you just need to push the red stake to the exit to win, you don’t want to see it simple, in fact, it takes a lot of time to complete the research

Features – he will activate your brain. Make your brain smarter, and he can also kill your boring time

Kill your boring time indeed. Which brings us to the third and final game on the list; Co-Jump, Fly. A casual game about sorting trash. What.

“This is a casual game about garbage sorting, it is a platform jumping game, and it becomes more and more difficult over time. You need to sort different types of garbage. If you like the characters in this trash sorting game, please buy our DLC. We made very beautiful clothes for the characters. Of course, please contact us after purchasing our DLC. After providing the information, we will give you the exquisite real thing of this character for free. Thank you for supporting our game!”

Steam’s records show that Co-Jump Fly released on December 11, 2019 for $6.99 USD and had its price jacked up to $79.99 USD on January 13, 2020. What happened on January 13, you might be asking? Well…nothing. Valve removed the low confidence rating just a few days prior. The game has been steadily releasing incredibly expensive DLC; $63.79, $73.99, $53.99, and oddly enough $1.99 for “role” DLC that offers…something. It should be noted that these DLC were also on sale for ninety nine cents and were unanimously jacked up on February 10 to the prices above.

The DLC packs themselves are something quite different, being singular skins but with the added offer of a free physical model if you contact the developer.

“The DLC includes a new player skin, you can choose between the default skin and the new skin, and users who bought this DLC package can also get a beautiful physical model of this skin for free. Please contact us to accept the gift!”

I have never seen this on a Steam game. Co-Jump Fly’s developer name literally translates to “Debris Flow.” Going back to my money laundering theory, Co-Jump Fly may have gone a little overboard and flew too close to the sun. The title gained some attention from Steam users after popping up on the Top Selling list, with people wondering how the hell a game that expensive and with nobody playing managed to become a #5 top seller. Great question, I think you already know the answer.

With Valve’s laissez faire policy on the Steam store, there is no doubt in my mind we’ll be seeing many more of these bans in the coming weeks and months.

Early Access: Paycheck: City RPG


Paycheck: City RPG is the latest MMO to hit Steam Early Access and for first impressions the game is leaving players wanting.

At its core, Paycheck is shaping up to be a role playing game in the biblical sense; players actually playing roles such as shop owner, police officer, and thief. Developer Happy Dog Interactive LLC has promised functionality to address players who might try to make the game a living hell for others just trying to play by the rules.

“One of the biggest challenges in designing a game like this, is how do you ensure constructive gameplay? In other words, how do you prevent players from constantly shooting one another for no reason? Our solution to this and other gameplay related problems are the Fair Kill System and the Fair Arrest System. These intricate systems enable players to have fun in their respective roles without having to constantly deal with problematic players.”

The good news is that Paycheck: City RPG is free to play. The bad news is that it doesn’t seem to have launched into Early Access with much to do, and players are wondering why their time is being wasted. Complaints seem centered around the lack of activities and specifically the absence of anti-griefing mechanics that the Steam store page talks about.

“This game is a long way from being playable, very buggy with not many things to do. The map is way too small for the type of game it is. Players start with weapons and new spawns start same place every time and can get killed straight away. There is no real character building mechanics so its kind of just a TDM game at the moment.”

One player logged in to find a low population being harassed by a single person.

“My first five minutes into a server there was just a cop in spawn arresting people the minute they spawn in, and since anyone can be any job they want this just allows trolls to do stuff like this. I only played about 30 minutes because there was only 5 people on the server and one was just standing in spawn waiting to arrest people like i said before, but i hope this game reaches it’s potential it’d be fun.”

Another review notes a lack of enjoyment of being a shopkeeper when one can’t interact with their store.

“this needs some serious help. the game was pushed back for whatever reason and still feels terrible. driving a car is a nightmare, being a store owner makes no sense, cant even lock a room or interact with your store. i think this game needs to be worked on longer it wasnt ready for this launch.”

Many of the reviews agree that the game has potential to be something good. Someday, just not right now. For now, you might want to give the game some extra time in the oven before diving in.

Steam Cleaned: The Vertigo Hides A Deeply Weird Developer


The Vertigo might be the most pathetic thing I have ever seen pop up on Steam.

I saw The Vertigo in my Steam release list when it showed up with the January 30 launch date. It costs $2 and I wouldn’t buy it as a joke since it is a battle royale game with no bots (presumably) and not a single person playing it. It would be a bigger waste of my money than Cyber Watch. Judging by the screenshots, it looks like The Vertigo was compiled over the course of a day since it uses untextured flat models, the default placeholder character models, and what I assume is a combination of placeholder blocks and asset store items.

I’ve seen low-effort trash but this is truly the lowest of low. Even worse is that SteamDB shows that this game was once categorized with in-app purchases. The Vertigo doesn’t look like it’s worth $2, and you’re going to ask for more from the nobody stupid enough to give you money? How dare you. I decided to look up the developer, Chango Games, and I’m honestly not sure if I’m being punked.

Head over to the Chango Games website and the first thing you’ll see is a teaser page for a game called Slash. I have no idea what Slashed is, but Chango Games is proud enough of it to label themselves “Creators of Slashed and Vertigo” at every opportunity. I know it’s available for pre-order at a $10 discount and they’ll send you a Steam key. Slashed isn’t on Steam, it doesn’t even have a database entry.

Also the website uses Dark Souls III trailers to advertise Slashed.

I should note at this point that the website absolutely takes you to a Paypal link that will allow you to pay Chango Games $20. I’m not stupid enough to see what happens if I paypal them the money. The more I view this website the more confident I am that someone spiked my sugarless Virgil’s root beer with LSD and I’m just muttering nonsense into this WordPress editor while spamming photos of my cat.

Chango Games also sells $1,000 t-shirts that say “$1,000 t-shirt” on them. At this point I’m 99.99% certain this is all an elaborate trolling operation. There is a gallery page that appears to be nothing more than compiled sets using pre-bought asset packs. I think I managed to find one or two of the asset packs used in the screenshots.

It’s 2a.m. and I’ve been trying to make sense of this “developer” for the last three hours, which very likely makes me exactly the kind of sucker they hoped to rope in with this weirdness. So congratulations, Chango Games is either a ridiculous troll group or a deeply incompetent developer. I’m not sure which is worse.

Steam Cleaned: Coronavirus Simulator Is A Desperate Plea For Attention


The Internet Memesters Union has brought us another floater, and it’s only a matter of time before the press throws itself on this turd.

These days the best way to get attention when putting out a low-effort game on Steam is to be bad, and I mean impressively bad. Any crew of college students can put out an unremarkable Unreal engine shooter and throw a hissy fit when it gets criticized, but in order to actually get sales you’re going to have to appeal to one of two “i’ll buy anything for the irony of it” demographics; the hentai demographic and what I have started calling the Internet Memesters Union. These groups of course go hand in hand with the “I’ll buy anything with easy achievements” and Russian trading card bot farms.

Now given that the Coronavirus has become a serious topic, it was only a matter of time before the Memesters Union jumped on board with all of its original hilarity. Coronavirus Simulator is an upcoming Steam game whose developer credits are Evil Scientists and Reptilian, and publishers are Uzbekistan Bears and Putin Team. Get it? Putin? Putin’s still funny, right? Putin!

“This time you will take on the role of a coronovirus, arriving directly from the laboratory of evil geniuses. Your task is to destroy humanity on planet Earth and spread throughout the galaxy. Modify your genome as it develops, improve your immunity to extreme conditions, and stay tuned for vaccine development!”

How quirky and random, and the only thing worth talking about in a shoddy clicker game.

But this crew isn’t the only one falling over itself to get in on the edgelord demographic as another title just simply called Coronavirus is also on its way out this month.

Coronavirus looks like it was hastily cobbled together out of a pre-built asset pack, which makes sense considering how long the virus has been a thing and that the game is coming out on February 14. Coronavirus is in development by soboleznyou which our on staff KGB agent says roughly means a message of condolences.

On the other hand if this means the Memesters Union is moving away from ‘God Emperor Trump’ games, it can’t be all that bad. At the very least I haven’t seen any images of Pepe the Frog showing up in the promo screenshots. Get ready for certain members of the press to throw themselves on these titles to scream about toxicity on Steam or something.

Kritika Reboot Names And Shames Latest Ban Wave


Kritika Reboot has a problem with gold farmers and cheaters. Who doesn’t?

Every so often the folks at ALLM Co. publish a list of banned accounts presumably as a form of public hanging and potentially to convince potential cheaters/gold buyers to not do those things. This week marked the temporary suspension of 77 accounts with 161 accounts being permanently suspended for the use of unauthorized programs. ALLM took the time to remind users of its continuing pledge to remove cheaters from the game.

Stop cheatin’.

Source: Steam

Can’t Get On Steam? It’s Not Just You;


Having trouble getting on Steam today? You’re not alone as the service appears to be undergoing a major service outage.

As of 12:30 p.m. on January 30, Valve’s servers are down pretty much universally and globally preventing players from accessing the store or any of its functions, downloading games, and affecting inventories and game coordinators for Valve’s titles. Looking at the charts on Steamstat.us, Valve’s services were suffering from recurring minor issues for several hours before the whole service just tanked.

There has been no public acknowledgement from Valve on the outage which isn’t completely out of the ordinary.

Hunter’s Arena: Legends Hits Closed Beta In February


Hunter’s Arena: Legends will officially hit closed beta next month for Steam players in specific locales. Players can register through the Mantisco portal with 10,000 players to be selected when the beta goes live next month. Timeline for the beta per-region has been announced to be;

  • America: Thursday, Feb. 20 to Sunday, Feb. 23 from 6 p.m. to 12 p.m. (GMT -7)
  • Europe: Thursday, Feb. 20 to Sunday, Feb. 23 from 6 p.m. to 12 p.m. (GMT +1)
  • Asia: Thursday, Feb. 20 to Sunday, Feb. 23 from 6 p.m. to 12 p.m. (GMT +9)

Those of you who didn’t watch WWE Royal Rumble can check out the trailer below. Hunter’s Arena combines MOBA-style gameplay with a battle royale game mode to pit 60 players in a last-man-standing game.

Check it out.

Steam Cleaned: Valve Gives More Shady Devs The Boot


About a week ago I published an editorial talking about the existence of games on Steam that cost a lot of money and don’t exactly justify their price. Titles that look like mobile ports or Unity shovelware that nobody seems to play and not only are being sold for money but a lot of money at that. My hunch at the time was that some of these games may be falling into a less than legal realm, being used as a form of money laundering which certainly wouldn’t be surprising or the first time such a title has shown up on Steam. This isn’t an accusation, just a speculation.

Well it appears I’m not the only one looking into these games as Valve has seen fit to give several of them the boot this week. Let’s dive in.

#1: Lab3D

Lab3D was developed and published by Tantal back in August 2019 and you may need Lasik surgery if you take a look at this screenshot and don’t immediately say “paying $200 is basically robbing the developer, make it $400.” Two hundred smackers, and the developer sounds completely legitimate when responding to a question about the price with:

“No, not trolling. Consider this a kind of experiment, only shhhh. And I can change the base price at any time.”

Lab3D had one review and 51 followers. Was it a money laundering scheme? A troll game? Only the developer knows.

#2: Fantasy Smith VR

Fantasy Smith VR was a $90 product by developer Okamoto 3 Nori, and in addition to the $90 base price it also featured several pieces of DLC all priced out at $40 a pop. Fantasy Smith VR is a little odd because it started out as a $12.99 product before the price suddenly and without explanation hiked up to $89.99 where it sat until Valve banned the game this week. Out of everything on this list, Fantasy Smith VR actually seems like a real game. If you head over to the community hub you’ll find people talking about it playing it and not being happy that the developer hasn’t spoken to anyone.

One of these things is not like the other.

#3: Hunting In Ancient Asia

Hunting in Ancient Asia is another $200 game, this time by Thoth Technology Ltd. everyone’s favorite game developer. Hunting In Ancient Asia had nobody playing it, roughly four instances of one person logged in since it launched in September despite 125 followers. Thoth Technology’s ban could be linked to some questionable reviews that may or may not have been at the behest of the developer. We will never know.

Unlike the other developers on this list, Thoth Technology Ltd. actually had other games on Steam and at more of a reasonable price. In an effort to become the Digital Homicide of virtual reality, Thoth not so much released as it did spam Steam with a bunch of shoddy looking VR titles over the span of the last eleven months, one of which was being sold for $100. I have to assume that the titles sound more elegant in their original Simplified Chinese and were at some level created with education or therapy based clients in mind.

Check em out.

#4: The Ones That Remain

There is a laundry list of games that in my frank opinion warrant Valve’s second look despite the fact that if any of these titles are involved in less than legal operations those activities are probably long over and done with and the cash paid out. These are games that cost $200 (or $100), have zero customers or close to it as far as I can tell, and have no public activity by the developer.

  1. Crisis Action VR; Pixel Wonder
  2. Strike Mole/Physical Ball; Lize
  3. Mouse Run; ATM Game
  4. NUMBER; rongyao0577
  5. LLK; Chenyun0577
  6. Hiscores Gold; Alexander in Uganda
  7. Lgnorant girl doll; wandwand
  8. Adventure Trip; Sunsmaybe Games
  9. Luna and Cynthia; wandwand
  10. Shoot Pump Shoot; Aurora Borealis
  11. Blast Em!; Xiotex Studios Ltd

Steam Cleaned: Undead Vs. Plants Is Terrifying


Undead Vs. Plants might be the most horrifying game I’ve seen on Steam, and as of this week you can’t buy it anymore as the developer has pulled it from sale. On a functional level it’s a ricochet game and might provide for a challenging puzzle game. On the other hand the characters in this game look like the last things I will see when I die and am dragged to hell by the demons of my past.

You play as zombie Arnold using your bullet ricochet powers to kill plants. The plants in the game are just the right combination of detail and awful to fall into the category where their very visage is discomforting. Haunting my dreams for eternity.

The developer Peaksel D.O.O. Nis has a math game still on Steam titled Zeus vs Monsters which is a math game for children and features art that while not great won’t give those children a nightmare just for wanting to learn addition and subtraction. Peaksel has a lot of creepy games on its website, including one about a pregnant talking cat named Emma. If you really want to play Undead vs. Plants you can do so on Android or Google Play. The game is still free there.

Temtem Early Access Impressions: Several Hours On A Broken Game


Temtem is in early access and unless you have a lot of patience for a busted game in alpha, I highly advise not spending the $35 (or your equivalent) at this stage. I also recommend not going into the toxic cesspit also known as the Temtem Discord server. It’s a hive of scum and villainy.

So Temtem has been in early access for roughly a week during which it has spent a fair bit of that time completely unplayable for many buyers. It’s understandable, the game is in early access and in the alpha stage. Unlike some people, the developers are very clear about this. Temtem also has a lot of people wanting to play it, unlike a certain shovelware shooter game, but I digress.

Let’s talk about my five hours in Temtem.

Temtem is Pokemon. You are a child starting out the game in your small town (which is laid out a lot like Pallet Town) leaving home to go out on an adventure, and you go meet a Professor of Pokemon Temtem studies who has you choose one of three Pokemon Temtem in his lab to start your journey of becoming a Pokemon Temtem master. You’ll meet your rival Max and journey through a winding series of tall grass encounters, and there are gyms dojos and Pokemon Centers Temporiams and items that teach moves, and a Team Rocket-style villainous gang.

I picked Houchic for my first Temtem since I have always wanted a psychic monster as my starter. I’m going to make a lot of Pokemon references in my coverage because while Pokemon didn’t create the genre, it’s very obvious that many of Temtem’s systems are taken directly from Pokemon. Not copying a whole lot from DigiMon. Now personally I have played the first two generations of Pokemon games and know literally nothing from any further game in the series, so all of my references are going to be from the red&blue/gold&silver era. Thank you.

Sin #1: The Forced Loss

I hate when RPGs make me lose to prove a point that could have been proven a million other ways. Alright, not a million. Half a million. When you have a pre-scripted loss in a game that’s all about strategy, it makes the player doubt how much they are really in control of the game. Temtem has your rival Max beat you down in your first fight just so the game can send the message that some Temtem are just unfairly better than others. It feels out of character for a game that otherwise starts out essentially with a Dora The Explorer “come on let’s get to it, I know that we can do it” vibe of positivity and confidence.

Considering anyone who plays Temtem is doing so because they are/were a fan of Pokemon, it’s safe to say that a majority of the population playing this game is aware of the weakness mechanic. It also strikes me as lazy because your rival Max always chooses Oree which is a digital type and has an inherent advantage over two of the three starters. It is also the only digital type Temtem at this point, making it seem like the whole class was created just so the developer didn’t have to work Max around potentially having three separate Temtem.

Sin #2: The Broken Evolution

The evolution mechanic is terrible and bound to be confusing for the average person who doesn’t ask in Discord/read the wiki since there is no chat right now. The evolution system in Pokemon has your Pokemon evolve at specific levels. Bulbasaur will always become a Venusaur at 16. In Temtem however, the evolution of a monster is based on the level that you caught them at and it is functionally broken. For example, Ganki’s evolution is 27+. If you catch a Ganki at level 1, it will evolve at level 28. If you catch a Ganki at level 10, it will evolve at level 38. If you catch a Ganki at level 22 then you can make like Willie Wonka and go fudge yourself since the soft cap for Temtem right now is 48, meaning that Ganki is not going to evolve period.

The evolution issue effectively punishes players for catching high level Temtem, as the higher level you catch a Temtem at the exponentially more grinding you’re going to have to do before that Temtem can evolve. In Pokemon you were rewarded for catching higher level Pokemon by requiring less time to level them before they could evolve. Temtem does the opposite and punishes you for it.

The goal is to push people into Temtem’s convoluted and stupidly expensive breeding system.

Sin #3: Boy This Game Is A Slog

Temtem is an MMO, so you do find a small number of simple side quests tossed into the mix. The main game? I started feeling my enthusiasm wane long before I got to the first gym, and I haven’t even gained access to the first gym.

Temtem pads its zones like a teenager’s bra, and it makes the process of entering a new area dreadful. I had to go look at the old Pokemon guides to make sure I wasn’t misremembering, but if you look at the zones in Red/Blue you’ll find that they tend to contain roughly 5-10 trainers, often on the lower end, with the added caveat that some of those trainers can be skipped and a lot of them have one or two Pokemon total. Temtem meanwhile has so. many. trainers that each zone takes a ridiculous amount of time to travel through, and very few of those trainers can be skipped.

I also had an issue with the first “gym” in Temtem. In Pokemon you come across the first gym battle pretty early on. Brock’s two Pokemon are level 12 and 14 if my memory serves me correctly, and you fight him roughly an hour into the game depending on how fast you are. To get to Brock you go through Route 1, Veridian City, Veridian Forest, and Route 2, with the option of hitting your rival in Route 22. In Red/Blue you’ll fight six trainers including the one in Brock’s gym. Temtem meanwhile has you travel through Prasine Coast (9 unskippable trainers, 3 skippable) to Briçal de Mar (town, no fights), through Thalassian Cliffs (13 unskippable trainers, 3 skippable) to Arissola, the town where Sophia’s dojo is. Sophia isn’t in town, so you need to find her by going to Gifted Bridges (12 unskippable trainers, 2 skippable) to the Windward Fort, a six floor building (15 unskippable trainers, 4 skippable), before you FINALLY unlock Sophia’s dojo (6 trainers).

So to wrap things up: Pokemon puts you up against six trainers before you fight Brock who has two Pokemon upwards of level 14. Just to get to Sophia, you need to fight a minimum of 55 trainers (64 if you fight everyone) to get to the first dojo master who has six Temtem up to level 22. Jesus Christ.

And yes, I’m aware that Temtem isn’t Pokemon. But having the literal first dojo be such an tremendous slog to reach has resulted in my experiencing burnout which should not happen this early in such a game’s story. It’s shoddy pacing and it doesn’t make me enthusiastic about reaching further dojos if this is the experience that I can expect to have going forward, by which I mean stopping every ten feet for trainer battles. I’m more inclined to give MMOs a break when it comes to increased grind, but Temtem isn’t really an MMO in the functional sense. You’re just sharing space with other people.

Otherwise I have no opinion on the matter. Actually I have a lot of opinions on the matter.