MMO Rant: Blade of Queen Is A Lie Built On Fraud

I have to assume that there is a template for Facebook games on the same level as those stock Unity games that get released on Steam by the dozens. These games populate Facebook, they advertise using fraudulent means, and they disappear as fast as they showed up. Their developers/publishers are all based in Hong Kong, most of them have no physical address, and I can only assume that they’re being pumped out with something resembling sweatshop labor given their speed, frequency, and obviously mass-produced quality.

Blade of Queen, one of two “games” spawned by budding shovelware developer/publisher CarolGames is an embarrassment, its publisher is so embarrassed by what it has to convince people to play that instead of using Queen of Blade screenshots in its Facebook advertising, they went ahead and used a snapshot from Suikoden 2.

Blade of Queen is a game in the sense that there are graphics and animations of figures fighting on screen. It’s not a game in the sense that you have no control over your characters and the only influence you have is spending silver to boost your stats so that they can automatically fight and win their match by simple virtue that your combat rating is higher than their combat rating. The combat is punctuated by poorly translated Engrish dialogue, about some nonsense that most people won’t care about enough to try and read.

I can’t remember the last time I lost a battle in the story mode, nor can I remember the last match that did not end with a SSS rating. Giving ratings at the end of each combat match is pointless because the player didn’t do anything. There is no strategy, nothing to congratulate. There’s a game that Nexon published whose name escapes me, but it supplements the fact that the combat plays out automatically by giving the player varying types of troops, forcing you to plan out a strategy with your characters.

As if to further the idea that this game is a hastily compiled mess, combat sounds work about 5% of the time.

I’m rank 69 and I haven’t even fought a battle. Nobody is playing this. What am I doing with my life? You know, that rank 1 player looks oddly familiar. Where have I seen that name before?

I’ve found the game’s major financier, folks.

Here’s the thing about these games: They’re cobbled together in Hong Kong sweatshops for sweatshop budgets, get translated to English for about a dollar, and ultimately nobody ends up playing them because they see the game in the Facebook ad and have either been conditioned to immediately recognize the scam, or they click on the link and immediately see that the game looks nothing like what was advertised.

Sure, you’ll get maybe a half dozen, dozen players who spend more than the game deserves, but ultimately it’ll be shut down within a few months and nobody will notice because by that point it will have been replaced by several dozen more clones, all of which will similarly shut down several months later.

On the other hand, the game has boobs and booty for miles, it doesn’t take a genius to know that someone said “let’s throw some jigglin tiddies in here, that’ll make people overlook the rest of the game being worthless.”