Satireday Headlines: Now Sponsored By Indie Gaming


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It’s Saturday and that can only mean one thing: The return of the Satireday Headlines. Today’s headlines are brought to you by Ovaltine Online, the new MMO packed with your daily requirement of vitamins and minerals.

  • Perpetual Entertainment Briefly Returns To Announce Next Cancelled MMO
  • Crowfall Developer Reminisces On Ultima Online Mistakes To “Double Down On Them.”
  • Ubisoft Bake Sale Goes Horribly Awry After Oven Suffers DRM Issues.
  • Massively.com Shut Down As Joystiq Runs Out Of Free AOL CDs, Loses Internet Access.
  • “David Allen Was Fired For Burning Coffee” Says New Starbucks Barista Derek Smart.
  • And finally…
  • John Smedley Solidifies Studio Independence By Tweeting Death Threat To Gabe Newell.

Once again, today’s special is brought to you by Ovaltine Online. Drink your Ovaltine kids.

Dream of Mirror Online Beta Key Giveaway


MMO Fallout has partnered with Suba Games to hand out keys to the upcoming closed beta for Dream of Mirror Online. The beta starts at 5pm EST on February 13th and runs for three weeks.

What do we want out of you? Absolutely nothing. Click on the link below to retrieve your key, follow the instructions to redeem, and get ready for the beta.

About Dream of Mirror Online:

Dream of Mirror is a free-to-play MMORPG (massive multi-player online role playing game) developed by Softstar, a leading brand in the Chinese video games industry, and has surpassed 400,000 registered users in Taiwan alone.

Players can choose between four races, six classes and six professions to gain experience through amazing quests and missions. The game places a great deal of emphasis on teamwork through the strong human relationship system and the graphics provide contemporary 3D anime style with cell shading effects.

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Redemption Instructions:

  1. Obtain a BETA KEY.
  2. Visit: https://subagames.com and submit your BETA KEY in Step 2. Please note that you must be logged into your Suba Games account to proceed. If you do not have an account, you can sign up for an account at: https://subagames.com.
  3. Download and install the game client. CB starts on February 13th, 2015 (5pm EDT)

H1Z1 Wipes Servers For Update


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H1Z1 is back up from this morning’s content patch, and while the update introduces numerous mechanical changes to the game it also comes with a full wipe for all servers. The update includes bug fixes, alterations to recipes, and other convenience updates to make life a little better in the zombie apocalypse.

Players will be happy to see that numerous items have had their weights severely reduced, meaning you won’t have your sacks filled by single cans of fruit or sticks. Other items like metal sheets, meats, and ammo have had their encumbrance increased, so make sure you take a look at what you’re picking up.

(Source: Reddit)

Meet Roblox’s New CFO And CMO


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Roblox has announced the hiring of two new top executives, Rick Silvestrini and Andrew Chmyz, to the positions of chief marketing officer and chief financial officer respectively. The two sat down for an interview with Games Industry to discuss their plans for the future of Roblox, including increasing staff count by over 30%.

You can follow the link below for the full interview, but for now here is a small comment by Silvestrini about Roblox’s competition.

We are part of a media revolution as entertainment becomes more participatory and is driven by individual creativity. So I like to think of competition as any passive entertainment form that doesn’t encourage to kids to explore, to create, and to connect.

(Source: Gamesindustry.biz)

The Secret World Letter Focuses On User Experience


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Joel Bylos is back to deliver the February Game Director’s letter for The Secret World. If you haven’t been following recent events, the Funcom team has been focusing on improving the new user experience as well as the upcoming launch of Issue #11.

The revamped experience has expanded slightly in scope by improving the tutorials in the beginning and smoothing out the difficulty curve. When we go back and change things, we also find other ways of improving the early game experience.

Foremost, Funcom is addressing the long kill-times once players leave the opening Kingsmouth area, from 7 to 25 seconds according to their statistics to kill a standard enemy. In addition, the team is reducing population in some of the more crowded areas. Mission rewards have also been reconfigured and streamlined, with the story mode now appropriately handing out goodies up until the end of Transylvania in which the player will receive their first epic weapon.

Also in the works is Issue #11, set to be the finale in the Tokyo storyline. Players will learn more about the Orochi, fighting their way to the top of a randomized tower with secret floors to discover along the way.

You can read everything at the link below.

(Source: The Secret World)

Square Enix Releases 9-Month Finance Report


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Square Enix today has released their nine month period report ending December 31, 2014, and the news is good. Compared to the report from the same time last year, figures have increased across the board in substantial numbers. Operating income has shown an 89.6% boost to $126.02 million, net sales up 16% to $1.01 billion, net income up 110.8% to $92.8 million, and ordinary income up 65.6% to $140.73 million.

In their filing, Square Enix pointed toward the success of mobile and PC browser platforms for its success, titles like Sengoku IXA, Dragon Quest Monsters Super Light, and Final Fantasy Record Keeper. MMORPGs such as Final Fantasy XIV and Dragon Quest X were also noted for “making favorable progress.”

Also contributing to Square Enix’s success is the continued growth of comics and merchandise licensing, while the arcade sector has maintained itself despite decreased sales through efficient store management. Overall, Square Enix projects the end of year sales to hover around last year’s figures.

(Source: Square Enix)

Diaries From RuneScape: January In Review


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January was a good month for RuneScape, even if you weren’t a fan of the heavy cash shop promotions. As I do each month, I’d like to give my thoughts on each week’s updates.

1. Boss Pets

Boss pets for me will fall under one of the more important updates of the year next to Jagex’s upcoming non-Java client launch and hopeful removal from the bloat that currently plagues this game, and it is an update that I haven’t even participated in yet. The idea of adding more cosmetics to collect is rather inconsequential when this update introduces a mechanic that hopefully will be expanded upon in future content, and one that I have personally been shouting from the rooftops for for the past several years: Thresholds for inconsequential, character-bound cosmetics.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, they basically work like this: Graardor has a 1 in 5,000 chance of dropping a pet, but should you manage to hit one thousand kills without a drop, the rate gets better. Now you have a 2 in 5,000 chance (1 in 2,500) until you either get the pet or the threshold caps at a generous 10 in 5,000 (1 in 500). You may still, by the wrath of the random number generator, never get that Graardor pet, but your odds do go up considerably and it doesn’t take away from the drop because you still need to kill this boss nine thousand times to hit that rate, after which I think we can all agree you deserve a break if you still haven’t received your fancy pet.

And it doesn’t devalue the achievement. As of January 29th, only two of the 26 pets have been unlocked by more than one thousand players, out of the tens of thousands who play every day.

2. Elemental Rare Drop Table Rework

I don’t have enough knowledge of the drop tables to comment on this update, but the most important parts can be found in the “other news” part of this update.

Clan citadel updates, reducing upkeep costs and removing the probation period on new members. You have to have played to know how sour clan chats could get each week when the citadel came due and not enough people spent the mandatory six hours of extremely heavy grind to grab the hundreds of thousands of resources required to keep the clan’s avatars for the next six days.

If I want someone breathing down my neck to maintain quotas, I’ll go back and work for Target selling credit cards, at least I’m the one getting paid there.

3. Hati & Skoll

Once again, not the important part of the update. Hati and Skoll are pretty insignificant, an annual update that takes five minutes to complete and awards a chunk of bonus exp and cosmetics that you won’t wear.

The update did, however, introduce RuneLabs to jump start players introducing their own ideas to the game. Most of them are godawful, but the community so far has been doing a great job of allowing the best ideas to filter to the top.

4. Ports – Guardians of the World

Update of the month.

I stopped using ports pretty much immediately after they came out, so I have a long way to go before I can catch up to the launch content let alone what this update brought in. As easy as travel is in RuneScape, it was still a pain to have to go to your port every single time your ships came in, in a mini-game that is already incredibly time-intensive not unlike your average Facebook waiting game.

Now you can manage your ships from just about anywhere, and the simple fact that this update made me engage in something I had previously dismissed makes it the top feature of the month.

SOE Now Daybreak Game Company


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Sony Online Entertainment has made a shocking announcement, revealing that the company has been acquired by Columbus Nova and will be spun off from the Sony brand. The news was revealed just minutes ago on Reddit.

This means that effective immediately SOE will operate as an independent game development studio where we will continue to focus on creating exceptional online games for players around the world, and now as a multi-platform gaming company. Yes, that means PlayStation and Xbox, mobile and more!

As part of the move, Sony Online Entertainment will be hereforth known as Daybreak Game Company. What does this mean for players?

It will be business as usual and all SOE games will continue on their current path of development and operation. In fact, we expect to have even more resources available to us as a result of this acquisition. It also means new exciting developments for our existing IP and games as we can now fully embrace the multi-platform world we are living in.

(Source: Reddit)

H1Z1 To Cheaters: Thanks For The Donations


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Sony Online Entertainment has an excellent track record on fighting cheaters, to the point where in Planetside 2 many developers have thrown in the towel and given up. H1Z1, currently in early access, is looking to be no different.

SOE senior game designer Jimmy Whisenhunt has posted to his Twitter account regarding a recent wave of bans, thanking the cheaters for their generous donations.

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You can follow Whisenhunt on Twitter for further ban announcements.

(Source: Twitter)

Ultima Online: Rampant PvP Drove Away 70% Of New Players


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Ultima Online’s second expansion, and its new continent Trammel, has been debated nonstop since its introduction way back in the year 2000. Gordon Walton, currently working on the upcoming MMO Crowfall, is responsible for Trammel and posted a lengthy piece explaining why the update came to be.

In his post, Walton explains that Ultima Online was losing 70+% of its new players within 60 days of subscribing due to the intense nature of the game’s PvP. Trammel was introduced in a time when Electronic Arts had planned on shutting down Ultima Online to push players towards the then in-development Ultima Online 2, noting that the executives at the time didn’t fully understand the idea of an MMO (supporting a game long after release as opposed to launching a new title). The good news is that Trammel doubled the subscriber base, the bad news?

The bad: Without the “sheep to shear” the hard core PvP’ers were disenfranchised. They didn’t like preying on each other (hard targets versus soft targets), and they became a smaller minority in the overall game. The real bad though was that the intensity and “realness” of the game for all players was diminished. This was the major unintended consequence.

Walton admits that Trammel was unsuccessful in bringing back the disenfranchised players, only 5% of whom returned of which few stayed. As for Crowfall, that game is being developed with the mistakes of Ultima Online in mind.

We are specifically making our game for players who will like the kind of experience we will create, not trying to cast a wide net to get a mass market audience. We want the folks who will appreciate an intense gaming experience with real risk, winning and losing. While we want as many players who are engaged in our game as possible, we won’t need millions of players to make our game work.

(Source: Reddit)