Indie – MMO Fallout

These days the best way to get attention when putting out a low-effort game on Steam is to be bad, and I mean impressively bad. Any crew of college students can put out an unremarkable Unreal engine shooter and throw a hissy fit when it gets criticized, but in order to actually get sales you’re going to have to appeal to one of two “i’ll buy anything for the irony of it” demographics; the hentai demographic and what I have started calling the Internet Memesters Union. These groups of course go hand in hand with the “I’ll buy anything with easy achievements” and Russian trading card bot farms.

Now given that the Coronavirus has become a serious topic, it was only a matter of time before the Memesters Union jumped on board with all of its original hilarity. Coronavirus Simulator is an upcoming Steam game whose developer credits are Evil Scientists and Reptilian, and publishers are Uzbekistan Bears and Putin Team. Get it? Putin? Putin’s still funny, right? Putin!

“This time you will take on the role of a coronovirus, arriving directly from the laboratory of evil geniuses. Your task is to destroy humanity on planet Earth and spread throughout the galaxy. Modify your genome as it develops, improve your immunity to extreme conditions, and stay tuned for vaccine development!”

How quirky and random, and the only thing worth talking about in a shoddy clicker game.

But this crew isn’t the only one falling over itself to get in on the edgelord demographic as another title just simply called Coronavirus is also on its way out this month.

Coronavirus looks like it was hastily cobbled together out of a pre-built asset pack, which makes sense considering how long the virus has been a thing and that the game is coming out on February 14. Coronavirus is in development by soboleznyou which our on staff KGB agent says roughly means a message of condolences.

On the other hand if this means the Memesters Union is moving away from ‘God Emperor Trump’ games, it can’t be all that bad. At the very least I haven’t seen any images of Pepe the Frog showing up in the promo screenshots. Get ready for certain members of the press to throw themselves on these titles to scream about toxicity on Steam or something.

Not Massive: Tower of Shades Is A Tower of Charm

Tower of Shades is one of those games that I talk about knowing someone’s going to link to it to say “oh that Connor he’s not a real gamer, look at this hipster trash he calls a game.” I don’t care, Tower of Shades is charming as hell and I enjoyed every minute of it.

In Tower of Shades the entire game is comprised of beating the final boss of an RPG. That’s it, you fight the final boss. You won’t beat the boss on your first try, your second try, your third, and so on, but the whole goal here is to reinforce the idea that you should keep trying. If you don’t keep trying you’ll never win, and if you give up then why did you start at all?

All in all, Tower of Shades might take roughly 30 minutes to complete, give or take a bit. It also costs a whole $2 on the Steam store, which is more than reasonable for what is more of an experience than a “gamer’s game.” The fight does require you to think strategically, and each time you get a bit closer to beating the boss the game encourages you to keep on keeping on. Keep trying, even if you fail now you still have another chance.

One warning I will offer is that Tower of Shades has a few points where there is extreme flashing lights. The game has a warning at the beginning, but it is definitely not safe to play for those with epilepsy.

Otherwise Tower of Shades is a very uplifting game and I recommend it to anyone who needs a quick confidence boost. Check it out, nerds.

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