It Came From Origin Premiere: Let’s Talk Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order


Boy what a ride.

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order is the most video game-ass video game to come from the AAA sector in recent memory. It makes me a bit sad to recognize the fact that this is the first Star Wars game in over a decade that feels like it was made foremost to be a fun game and not to be a vehicle for disgustingly greedy microtransactions. In fact, the game doesn’t have microtransactions period. I know, right? From a subsidiary of Electronic Arts and in 2019 no less.

There are a lot of things that Fallen Order does not have. It doesn’t have a tacked-on half-baked multiplayer mode that would be dead within a month. It does not have shoddily-implemented RPG mechanics to artificially extend the game’s lifetime by forcing the player to grind for gear with incrementally higher numbers. There are no daily missions, no loot boxes, no weekly checklists or login rewards. No season passes or ridiculous cosmetics to give Vade pink armor. It’s like the developers at Respawn fell out of 1998 and said “let’s make a modern Star Wars game.”

Fallen Order is set shortly after the events of Revenge of the Sith. The Jedi are mostly wiped out, Yoda and Obi Wan are headed to their respective hidey holes for the next couple of decades, and the newly formed Empire is on the prowl wiping out the good guys wherever they may be hiding. Luke and Leia are probably just reaching the age of saying their first words, so don’t count on them for help. You are Cal Kestis, a name you’ll probably forget about two minutes after hearing it. Cal is living his life as a normal scrap miner (who would have thought) when his life is flipped turned upside down; the Empire knows he’s a Jedi. With the help of the mysterious Cere Junda (played by Debra Wilson) and space pilot from Space Bronx Greez Dritus (Daniel Roebuck), your goal is to rebuild the Jedi Order.

1. Exploration Is Encouraged, Not Forced

Exploration in Fallen Order tastes like Respawn made a gumbo using a 50/50 blend of Metroid and Uncharted. You’ll visit several planets over your trip that amount to a variety of open world locations with twisted, winding paths and a variety of local wildlife. Each zone basically amounts to taking the long way to your goal while simultaneously opening up shortcuts for when you come back. And you’ll come back, they always come back. After all, you’ll need to return to the planets you’ve visited (of which there are roughly half a dozen) to unlock new areas.

As you journey through the world, you’ll obtain new force powers, upgrade your BD-1 unit to access more areas of the map, and find more unlockables. The unlockables are wholly optional and amount to new cosmetics, bits of lore, and doodads that incrementally increase your max health/force. The map is also very handy for showing you areas that you can access and those that you can’t, so you’ll never be scouring an area for a frustratingly long amount of time wondering where to go next.

2. The Darkest of Souls

I am legally obligated to point out that Fallen Order is the Dark Souls of Star Wars games, and the analogy actually works this time. Let me summarize: Fallen Order is a game where your capabilities in combat are tuned around timing your strikes, parries, and rolling dodges. You come up against enemies, many of whom can strike you down within a handful of well-placed hits. Defeating enemies grants you experience that translates into skill points that must be spent at meditation points. If you die in battle, you lose your accumulated unspent points and must go back and strike the NPC that hit you to get them back. Meditating, dying, and leaving resets all enemies on the map. For healing you have limited stims (estus flasks).

For Soulsborne fans, I recommend playing on higher difficulties. Respawn’s difficulty system is rather ingenious in that it doesn’t change much. Lower difficulties make enemies hit for less damage and moderately increase the parry window. Regardless, this game will beat the crap out of you on pretty much any mode except for Story Mode. You are expected to die, and die a lot.

3. Artificial Unintelligence

That being said, Fallen Order can be cheesed by playing the game in ways that it was clearly not meant to be played.

Fallen Order’s artificial intelligence is fantastic in a very closed environment. Respawn manages to keep a tense atmosphere from start to finish by pitting you in a world where even the lowliest stormtrooper can knock you silly if you aren’t careful enough. Enemies parry your attacks, anticipate your movements, and generally fight like intelligent creatures with real experience.

Pull it out of that environment, and Respawn’s AI falls apart. I was able to get through several areas that should have been difficult simply by force pulling mini-bosses into adjacent rooms. The mini-bosses didn’t understand the layout and ignored me bashing at them with my lightsaber while slowly waltzing back to their zone. Mobs will often just stop pursuing you at the boundary point between rooms at which point they just sort of shut off and won’t acknowledge your presence until you walk back into their zone. Even worse than the dead-brain mode when getting pulled into other rooms, I found that some mobs will just hit a kill switch and die if they wind up on unfamiliar terrain. It kills the atmosphere when you pull a mini-boss on to solid ground and he just keels over for no reason.

When it works, it works. The few lightsaber battles you’ll get into with Fallen Order’s bosses are some of the best since the old Star Wars Jedi Knight titles. You’ll go from getting your ass completely kicked by a boss to doing better, then even getting an advantage, and finally you’ll be finishing the fight without taking more than a couple of hits. And you’ll know that you accomplished that on your own, not because you min-maxed or overleveled the game but because you paid attention and learned the cues.

4. I F*#@ING LOVE STAR WARS

My interest in Star Wars in general has been rekindled thanks to the impressive launch of The Mandalorian, and Fallen Order couldn’t come at a better time for the franchise. This game has a lot of what you’d want out of a Star Wars Jedi game. Customizing your lightsaber? You can do it, even though it’s a thing you don’t exactly see the details of when it is slicing through a stormtrooper. Your lightsaber works like a lightsaber should, cutting things in half with ease. The game does make tougher enemies take more hits which can pull out of the experience, but you have to make some compromises otherwise you’d be the One Punch Man of a galaxy far far away.

Fighting AT-ST’s? Check. Scaling the side of an AT-AT Walker? Double check. One of my favorite bits showcasing the attention to detail is in the stormtrooper dialogue. You can sneak up on stormtroopers and hear them chattering amongst themselves (“it’s your turn to fill out casualty reports!”) and it’s just jump up on a group of soldiers to hear them amping themselves up for the battle only to see that enthusiasm drop away as their comrades fall one by one.

The gameplay and story are compelling enough to make you almost forget that Cal is on a path of failure. Yea, Fallen Order takes place within the canonical universe of Star Wars. In case you hadn’t noticed by the end of Return of the Jedi, the Jedi Order is still not a thing. The ending isn’t clear until well after the three quarter mark, when you kind of get an idea as to how everything is going to summarize itself. It is a powerful ending and one that makes sense in the greater universe. After all, the future does not know who Cal Kestis is.

If I had to nitpick, I’d also point out that the game does absolutely nothing to explain or acknowledge the fact that Cal respawns at meditation points when he dies, or the fact that zones respawn when you meditate. In Dark Souls the mechanic makes sense, here it’s thrown in with no real connection to the world or lore.

5. In Conclusion

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order is not an open world RPG but instead a mostly linear storytelling experience with some optional exploration sprinkled in. It tells a great story though, one that gives me hope for the future of Star Wars as a video game franchise (one which ironically was also killed by the same publisher). Fallen Order has great characters, a fantastic story, and combat mechanics that keep the game exciting from the moment you pick it up to the moment you put it down and the credits roll.

Finishing the main story without doing much in the way of exploring the optional mechanics took me roughly fifteen hours and some change. Your mileage may vary. That said, there is little in the way of replayability outside of going back and roughing through the game at a higher difficulty.

If playing on PC, I highly recommend just footing the month of Origin Premiere and playing through Fallen Order over the weekend for $15 and then spend the rest of the month doing whatever with the remaining library of games. For Xbox or PS4? Rent it from your local Redbox. It’s a fantastic game by all means, but I feel like most people will be done with it once the first playthrough is over with.

Vicious Circle Goes Free To Play, Refunds Everyone


Back in September we reported on the failed launch of Vicious Circle, the latest title from Rooster Teeth Games. In that time, the crew has been working behind the scenes and at the start of the month announced that not only would Vicious Circle be going free to play, but that those who bought founders packs would be refunded.

“Why is Vicious Circle going Free to Play? In short, the game didn’t succeed. We came together on a super creative ambitious new project, put our hearts into it, did our best to support it, and it didn’t work out, and that’s okay. Not every idea we have will be a success. We have to fail to find success. Servers will remain up because we made a game and we want the community to still have a chance to play it. We don’t want price to get in the way. We remain proud of the work that was put into the game and want as many people to have the chance to experience it as possible.”

Don’t get too excited about that free to play, though. While the game is going free to play, Rooster Teeth has no intention of supporting the title outside of some bug fixes.

Source: Steam

Free Steamy Sundaes: October 20 Edition


Today’s Free Steamy Sundaes is brought to you by caffeine, toxic consumer advocacy, and viewers like you. I don’t know how to casually introduce a new column I had the idea for while shopping for a new coffee grinder, so I’m just going to refer to Free Steamy Sundaes like it’s been going on for weeks and you’re all very familiar with it. So naturally everyone knows that this column is a weekly list of free to play games and demos that released on Steam last week.

[Video] Outer Worlds Launch Trailer


Obsidian Entertainment today released the launch trailer for The Outer Worlds, the latest science fiction game hitting PC and consoles in just under a week. The Outer Worlds sticks players in a world where giant megacorporations have taken over entire planets. Featuring branching paths, your story will change depending on how you play.

Check it out.

[Video] Wasting Time #1: Beetle Hunter


Today’s Wasting Time piece is in the form of a video long play (as long as you consider nine minutes to be). It is a first person shooter that is completely free and the project of what appears to be just one guy.

Check it out, the only thing you have to waste is your time.

[Hearthstone] American Team Displays “Free Hong Kong” Sign At Match


Blizzard just can’t catch a break. When the dumpster fire that was Blizzard’s PR kerfuffle occurred yesterday, folks like myself noted that if Blizzard thought the situation would get better, they were dead wrong. If anything, it’s going to get worse. Much worse.

Following the news that Blizzard had banned a Hearthstone player and rescinded his tournament winnings over comments in support of Hong Kong, and then fired the two broadcasters interviewing him, the news has been rolling in of more PR fallout. Over the course of yesterday, Blizzard employees covered up company signs in protest, the Hearthstone Reddit has been overwhelmed with boycott posts, and Blizzard locked down its own subreddit in an attempt at damage control.

The latest to come out was an American team in the Collegiate Championship held up a sign during their match that said “Free Hong Kong, boycott Blizzard.” As you would expect, the stream immediately cuts away. You can find the stream at the link above. The team had already lost the game at the point where they held up the sign.

Blizzcon begins the first weekend of November. It should be fun.

[Rant] Mobility: Mario Kart Tour Is Nintendo’s Latest Foray Into Childhood Gambling


Mario Kart Tour has picked probably the worst week to launch in the history of the septic tank that is mobile gaming.

This prior week of September 22 of 2019 the year of our lord, has gifted mobile gamers with something many of us could only dream of. Both iOS and Android users were treated this past week to the respective launch of Apple Arcade as well as the Google Play Pass, and in both cases users are still on their free trial. The services offer access to hundreds of games combined, in Apple’s case exclusive titles, free of microtransactions and predatory mobile shenanigans, and for what it’s worth high quality games for the mobile platform.

Then Nintendo sauntered in with Mario Kart Tour like a man with no self-awareness walking into a feminist AA meeting donning his unclean wife-beater, carrying a Pabst, blowing a big fart and then asking which one of the lovely ladies would like to take him home and make him a sandwich. Mario Kart Tour is a depressing game to look at, not only because it is a low-quality facsimile of the real thing but because of the knowledge that mobile expectations of workmanship are so low that people will eat up the shoddy, low-effort design and spit out lots of moolah into Nintendo’s open pockets despite the readily available, higher quality, also portable version of Mario Kart being a step away.

Mario Kart Tour isn’t here to give you an enjoyable experience, that is literally not what it was made for. It has one goal and makes that very clear from the opening second of the game: Money and gambling. Lots of money and lots of gambling, especially for you children. The first thing you do in the game is “fire the cannon,” which is Nintendo’s kid friendly way of saying “open this loot box you [expletive deleted].” You open a loot box to determine your first character. You open a loot box after your first race. After three races and a short tutorial, what do you do? Open a loot box. And the game doesn’t let you drift away from the loot boxes either. In typical mobile tutorial fashion, it will lock every other section of the game until you relent because dammit you’re going to gamble and you’re going to like it. Otherwise you’re going to have no game, you indescribably cheap cretin.

There are 20 characters at the moment in Mario Kart Tour and you’ll need to unlock them one by one using (you guessed it) loot boxes. Odds of unlocking characters varies from the “normal” 5% to the “super” .26%. Yea, if you wanted to play as any of the standard racers like Mario, Peach, DK, Toad, Bowser, etc, you’ll be looking at 1% odds on the loot boxes. Because this game isn’t about fun, it’s about maximizing profits off of FOMO, compulsive collectors, and children with mom’s credit card. The same goes for your cart and the umbrella, which also unlock via loot box and have non-cosmetic effects like giving you more items per box or increasing your combo boosts. If you wanted to know why Dry Bowser has a .2% chance of unlocking, see how many levels choosing him as a character nets you bonus items.

Nintendo has also already started dabbling in time-limited loot box drops. Tomorrow (10/2) is the last day to get Pauline, her yellow taxi, and fare flier cart piece. Each one has a 1% chance of dropping in loot boxes. It will absolutely not be in the next limited loot box. It may be available at some point in the future, then again it may not. If it does reappear, it may have a higher chance of dropping and it may have a lower chance. Nintendo will never tell, because shut up and buy more currency.

Rarer goods also grant more opening bonus points, and others just straight up grant you 2x and 3x combo points. That’s important because Mario Kart Tour is less concerned with your place and more concerned with your points. Grab up those hot racers and vehicles and you’re basically a good way to a perfect five star rating before the map even begins.

Mario Kart Tour is deceptive from head to toe. First of all the game tricks you into thinking that you are playing against other people. You aren’t, the online mode isn’t in the game yet to play multiplayer matches with people around the world. You’ll kinda figure this out on your own pretty early, but Nintendo went to some lengths to hide the fact that you are playing solo. For starters every other racer has a genuine Nintendo usernames (a lot of Japanese letters). When you launch a map it actually goes through the process of mock filling up a lobby. As a result, you’re often needlessly put together in matches with many duplicate characters. I can understand that online, but in single player? What a joke.

Matches now consist of two laps instead of the Mario Kart industry standard three, presumably because some cynical boardroom meeting looked at cynically collected data and cynically suggested that two laps was the perfect amount of time to keep mobile gamers’ attention and three laps was just way too long.

You might be thinking the same thing that I did when you read “Mario Kart Tour” and “mobile game,” and that’s “haha I bet this game plays itself.” It does. By golly it does. Mario Kart Tour has auto-acceleration and auto-turning. I have set my phone down and came back to find that my character almost always made it in the top 3. It’s fine, the controls in this game are rotten garbage anyway. I can’t count how many times I saw my cart drifting sideways in defiance of most laws of gravity. It’s like your car is being pulled on an invisible rope behind and invisible car. It never feels like you are actually in control, more like an invisible hand gesturing the racer toward more gold coins.

Then you have the membership, which is why I brought up the Apple Arcade information earlier. Mario Kart Tour wants you to pay $5 per month for its membership, the same cost that will get you access to hundreds of better quality games. What do you get for your $5 gold pass? You get extra rewards from racing in tours, you get extra badges from gold challenges, and you get access to 200cc. Yep. 200cc is locked behind a subscription. By the way, I played through a few races on 200cc and didn’t touch the phone screen. I came in fourth nearly every time.

If you’re looking for guidance on whether to spend money on Mario Kart Tour you just need to look at another one of Nintendo’s egregious cash farms: Miitomo. When the news came that Nintendo would be shutting down that gacha game, what was the company’s response? A big middle finger pointing at their no refunds policy. Who doesn’t salivate at the prospect of a Mario Kart game that Nintendo intentionally produced to feel like a crap Chinese knockoff, that you’re expected to lay down more money for than the price of a Switch console, that Nintendo will throw up a big f*ck you and remove access to all of your purchases for once the game no longer rakes in the enormous monthly average revenue they expect? I already have my wallet out but it’s being dropped into the furnace.

I have no trust in Mario Kart Tour. There is a weekly ranked cup that grants rubies depending on your overall score which should offer unlimited replay (keep your score up, be the best guy) but I don’t trust it. I got to #1 rank with no effort on the cup, the other people are just first names (Anna, Jose, Clara). Are they real people? Did I get roped into a group with 20 people who all have first names as their usernames? Does Nintendo hide the usernames and post first names? I don’t know. I don’t think I’d trust Nintendo that these are real people and not just another cog in the bullshot machine if they managed to show me government identification from each player in my crew.

Is anyone in a group where the first place has 13,944 points? Because that’s me. Please tell me you are real.

Otherwise I have no opinion on the matter.

Microtransactions: Workhard Is Definitely A Game


I wanted to talk about Workhard because I spent money on this and I’d honestly feel bad about refunding it.

Microtransactions is the latest column idea I had here for MMO Fallout because I can either play some incredibly cheap/short indie games with what little free time I have nowadays, or I can do the sensible thing and acknowledge that I’m not actually legally obligated to be publishing stuff on the internet even though I’ve been doing just that for nearly eighteen years now.

So I picked up Workhard because it was $1.79 on Steam and looks like a Gameboy game. Shallow, yes, but so is the game. You play as a secret agent assigned to liquidate a gang. With your guns. Sure, why not. So you travel to the right over several levels and shoot people as they aimlessly walk toward you. To aid in your liquidation you have a pistol, an automatic, and a one-shot shotgun that fires one bullet before it needs to reload. The shotgun has a very satisfying punch and can take out pretty much everyone except for the final boss in one hit. Admittedly this is the highlight of the game.

All in all, Workhard will take roughly 10 minutes to beat and obtain all of the achievements. I actually thought that the game was having problems because I kept killing the final boss off-screen without realizing it and the game just goes right back to the main menu.

I’m not angry that I spend the cost of a soft-baked Monster cookie from Target on this game or the fact that it was ten minutes long, but I am starting to wish I had taken that money and gotten a soft-baked Monster cookie from Target.

Wasting Time: Darkula


Here at MMO Fallout I occasionally like to bring attention to games that you can check out completely free of charge, but also games that are not MMOs and therefore 1.) will not require you to take them up as a full time job and 2.) won’t bombard you with microtransactions. These games are totally free. Today’s title is Darkula.

If you don’t know Darkula, you are probably not familiar with its creator Locomalito. Locomalito is the creation of one dude, and in between commercial releases occasionally will put out a freeware game. Darkula is that game.

Looking like it’s straight out of the C64/ZX Spectrum era, Darkula has a very simple premise: You are Darkula, and your goal is to pick up the lightbulbs in each level.

“Darkula is a frantic fixed platform game designed like a 1983 coin-op arcade. It mimic the technical specs of the time in terms of image and sound, but it goes further with a smooth playability and a scoring system carefully designed for local tournaments. Collect all the light bulbs to complete a level. Collect shining light bulbs consecutively to raise the challenge and earn a growing bonus. Be fast, don’t miss the special object and be careful with the monsters around!”

Darkula plays like the fourth screen of Donkey Kong but with a bit more strategy, since you’ll want to grab the flashing orbs in order to greatly increase your score multiplier. This is meant to recreate the arcade feel, after all, your whole goal is to git gud and get that high score up! If you want to check out Darkula, it’ll set you back approximately 22.4mb in space unzipped.

I also recommend checking out the other games on the website, many of which are completely free or have a free version. Why not? The only thing you’ll be wasting is time.

Wasting Time: The Designers Curse: Chapter One


Today I played The Designers Curse: Chapter One.

Continue reading “Wasting Time: The Designers Curse: Chapter One”