Diaries From Shadow Arena: Passing Time With Bots


The game might be dead but I’m having fun?

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Not Massive: Tell Me Why Chapter 1 Impressions


I’m interested to say the least.

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BRoyale With Cheese: Soulfire Impressions


It’s the Dark Souls of battle royale titles.

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Cull Your Enthusiasm: The Culling Couldn’t Get Worse


Like a vagrant uncle, Xaviant is back with another grift.

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Early Access Impressions: Population Zero, What Is the Point?


I’m trying really hard to not get annoyed at this game.

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Diaries From Eternal Magic: Why Does This Game Exist?


I feel like I’ve gone back in time to 2005.

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Beta Perspective: Ultimo Reino Is Absolutely A Game


And it made me learn Spanish. Continue reading “Beta Perspective: Ultimo Reino Is Absolutely A Game”

Magnificent 5 Launches On Steam Into the Arms of Nobody


Magnificent 5 is the most embarrassing thing to tie its name to the western film series since Adam Sandler put out Ridiculous Six.

Since 2019-2020 seems to be the era of Battle Royale titles immediately failing out the gate, it was only a matter of time before Free Reign Entertainment, led by the least competent swindler in the history of gaming Sergey Titov, got into the fray. Magnificent 5 was already failing long before it came on to Steam, but now that the game is on the platform it has a whole new audience to take a look at it and say “no thank you.”

Don’t let the timer in the screenshot fool you, I spent more than two hours in queue on Steam launch day and couldn’t find a single game. The timer resets every hour. The estimated timer is seven days, not seven minutes. There are fourteen people online.

The good news is that Free Reign is already planning its next swindle. The company has listed on its New Frontier launcher a zombie survival game based in the New Frontier world. Yes the company that repackaged the same low quality zombie game over and over and over and over and over and over again is going to dip into the well and pull those zombie models out of retirement to do it one more time. Sergey Titov; a man who has been recycling the same trash for over a decade because somehow these things still make a bit of cash.

This game makes Cyber Watch look innovative.

Diaries From Velia: Fishing Black Desert (PS4)


(Disclaimer: I was provided a review copy of Black Desert on PS4. This has no bearing on my coverage.)

One thing I love about Black Desert is the sheer amount of stuff to do and the complicated nature of it. Let’s take fishing for example. You go into Velia which is one of the first major towns you’ll come across and find the dude at the wharf that sells fishing poles. Simple, you think. You equip the fishing pole and head down to the shore to see a big chunk of text appear in the corner that says “Abundant” or “Average” or “Depleted.” This tells you how well stocked that area is.

This is also the point where the game explains a couple other functions to you. You can press the X button to cast your line. Alternately you can hold down X to consume energy but have a higher chance at catching better fish. Alternately you can cast your line and just go do something else, after a couple of minutes the game will start automatically fishing for you. You can’t auto-fish forever though since every fish takes up its own space in your inventory.

Then you start catching fish and you might examine and notice some stuff in the information. You can cook the fish. Where? It doesn’t explain and you can spend an hour looking around town only to find that there are no cooking nodes that you might expect from other games. You’ll need to buy a residence in town and build a cooking utensil in your room. To do that you open the map, go to the town, enter the town, find the property locations, click on them, and invest the contribution points. So you do that and at this point you’re probably looking at the recipes in the cooking utensil. It’s very handy because the utensil lists the ingredients without telling you exactly what it makes. You figure out the name of the dish once you make it.

So…fried fish. One fish, three grain flour, two frying oil. Thankfully Velia has a building near the center of town with a chef and he has a lot of basic ingredients. He also has frying oil at very cheap prices. So now we need grain flour, and what the hell is that? Well you can make grain flour by processing a number of vegetables but you may notice there are no processing vessels in town. You can find vegetables at harvesting nodes, by renting a fence and farming them, hiring workers to produce them for you, honestly this itself opens up about a dozen features of the game. Then you process the veggies into flour by which you open the processing menu and oh my god the processing menu contains shaking, grinding, chopping, drying, filtering, heating, and more stuff I don’t understand right now. But I really just want to focus on the grain so you grind the flour and now you have the ingredients you need to make fried fish.

Oh and did I mention that you can hire workers? While looking through the property you may have noticed that Velia is surrounded by nodes and specifically one of those nodes has potato farming. Coolio Jones, but to make use of it you have to 1.) activate the node by investing contributions points, 2.) invest contribution into potato farming, and 3.) hire a worker and send them there. Well what are contribution points? I have them and I’m not sure how I got them. Contribution points are obtained for an area by completing their quests, turning in specific items to NPCs, and killing monsters attacking the towns at night. Contribution points are very important because you need them to invest in the town’s resources like our potato farmer and to obtain property.

During this whole process you might have taken a second look at the fish and noticed that they can be sold to the trade managers in each town. Cool, but there’s also a 24 hour price guarantee and a note about the current value being 100%. What does that mean? Astoundingly, fish rot in Black Desert and they do so fully after one day. After roughly two and a half hours, the value of the fish starts to decrease and loses more value over time. You can dry your fish (see processing) which loses a lot of the value but prevents the fish from rotting and makes it so you won’t lose the value entirely. You can also use this to automate more of your income, hiring workers to fish and then building a fish factory to turn that fish into dried fish which can then be sold. Does anyone else smell burnt toast?

Oh right, so you fry your inventory of fish and you may have noticed something during this whole process. Yea you end up with a lot of fried fish, but…now you have these other dishes in your inventory: Dish with more ingredients, dish with weird texture, taken out food, and strongly seasoned dish. The game says that these are byproducts of cooking and they can be taken to Heidel or the northern Wheat Plantation and be exchanged for stuff. The dish with more ingredients can be exchanged for beer, but why do you need beer (outside of the obvious)?

Beer is used to refresh the stamina of your workers and the more workers you have, the more beer you need. People love beer, especially hard working blue collar folks in Black Desert. It’s one of the easiest stamina-refreshing items that new players can cook up in Black Desert, and you can make that restocking easier by holding on to your cooking byproducts to get some more.

So by fishing, Black Desert kinda forces us to learn features like processing, drying, grinding, purchasing land, cooking, fish expiration, energy consumption, trade managers, contribution points, hiring workers, work nodes, recipes, fishing abundance, auto-fishing, stamina consumption, and dealing with weird transactions. It is utterly insane, and we haven’t even cracked the surface of what Black Desert has going on. And it is awesome.

Oh and I haven’t even gone into aspects of the game like renting rafts, going out and fishing in deeper waters, connecting fishing nodes, or upgrading your fishing rod. Let’s keep it light.

I will have more coverage on Black Desert once I start to wrap my head around it better.

Diaries From Washington DC: The Division 2 First Ten Levels


The Division 2 is a very Division-esque title, which is going to be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you approach the franchise. If you like your sequels to take the prior title and expand upon it, you’re golden. If you hated everything about The Division down to its core mechanics, you’re not going to find much to love here.

I want to talk about some immediately obvious positives in The Division 2, and particularly that the game is a whole lot less jank than its predecessor. The Division was pretty great when it came to movement and it’s kind of amazing to think back to the trailers when we were mostly all in awe at the simple idea that your character would close a car door automatically while taking cover behind it. That said, movement in the original game was kind of rough in spots and your character felt like he was walking on a treadmill leading to more confined areas being a real pain to get through. Additionally, while enemy AI wasn’t terrible it wasn’t exactly intelligent, and Ubisoft balanced this by making the game into a bullet sponge festival.

Thankfully The Division 2 has mostly fixed all of this.

Enemy AI is going to surprise you quite a bit as you experience what this game has to offer. Evidently the Washington DC wasteland still has plenty of brain food, as raiders will intelligently flank you, use grenades to push you out of hiding, send in suicide melee squads to force you from your cover, and just generally utilize more coordinated tactics than you might anticipate from such a game. It’s almost unfair at times when you get pitted against a dozen or so baddies in an open space and suddenly find yourself knocked out of cover while the sniper forcing your attention made way for the two guys who just appeared behind you. Unlike its predecessor, I have rarely come out of a death concluding that the game was cheating me.

On the other side of this coin the bullet sponge enemies are mostly gone and good riddance to them. I would say that The Division lands mostly on the realistic side of the Tom Clancy media spectrum so the idea of having gang leaders walking around with no noticeable body armor but somehow still needing two full reloads of shotgun shells from close range in order to kill is just ridiculous. The Division 2 still has named enemies, and they are more powerful than their low-tier mook buddies, but they aren’t sponges. They might have armored vests or helmets, and take a couple more shots to put down. There are a few enemies scattered about during missions that are covered in full body SWAT-tier bomb squad armor that take a lot of bullets to kill. They are far less present and can be dealt with easier than their predecessors.

It’s also nice to be able to walk around the various locations without your character bumping into everything like a drunken bumper car operator.

The game itself is freaking gorgeous. Obviously I’m saying this from the stance of someone with a computer good enough to run the game on its highest settings but boy did Ubisoft put a lot into making the DC wasteland look beautiful and create a living world in the process. The city itself tells a story and everywhere you look you can see the remains of failed quarantines, rescue efforts, and people just trying to survive. You come across a regular bounty of random events including public executions, propaganda broadcasts, and more, that can be easy targets for some quick loot. My personal favorite are the supply drops, where you’ll come across three supply crates that you can salvage for gear and resources. The caveat to this is that the various other factions are also out for these and can actually steal them from you. As far as random encounters go, the supply crates offered the most varied fun for me.

Gear, at least in the first ten levels, has been pretty great. The Division has been throwing enough stuff at me via the main missions, side missions, and generally tracking down and looting stuff in the wilderness that I haven’t felt bereft of new toys to play with.

The first ten levels of Division 2 have taken up around five and a half hours of gameplay, and so far I have to say I am enjoying this far more than I did with The Division. I am looking forward to discussing the game more as I continue playing.