[Mobility] X-Men Update Comes To Marvel Future Fight


Netmarble today issued an update to the super hero mobile game Marvel Future Fight that unlocks the potential functionality for Magik and adds in all new X-Men Phoenix Five uniforms for Magik and Namor.

The update also includes a 40% discount on all uniforms from October 1 through 7. From October 1 through 9, agents can participate in the X-Men vs. Inhumans faction battle where players actions on the field add points to their faction to determine who wins and loses. Rewards including Colossus will be sent based on ranking and participation.

For more details, check out the official website.

[Video] Black Desert (Xbox) Gets Tamer Class


Black Desert on Xbox One just got handed a big new update as Pearl Abyss releases the Tamer class.

The Tamer makes her way to Black Desert. Accompanied by her legendary beast Heilang, the tamer wields a Shortsword and a Trinket to demolish her enemies. Those who are still standing once the tamer unleashes her attacks, are instantly met with the teeth of Heilang. Let’s find out more about the Tamer!

More information on the tamer class can be found at the official website.

[Rant] Mobility: Mario Kart Tour Is Nintendo’s Latest Foray Into Childhood Gambling


Mario Kart Tour has picked probably the worst week to launch in the history of the septic tank that is mobile gaming.

This prior week of September 22 of 2019 the year of our lord, has gifted mobile gamers with something many of us could only dream of. Both iOS and Android users were treated this past week to the respective launch of Apple Arcade as well as the Google Play Pass, and in both cases users are still on their free trial. The services offer access to hundreds of games combined, in Apple’s case exclusive titles, free of microtransactions and predatory mobile shenanigans, and for what it’s worth high quality games for the mobile platform.

Then Nintendo sauntered in with Mario Kart Tour like a man with no self-awareness walking into a feminist AA meeting donning his unclean wife-beater, carrying a Pabst, blowing a big fart and then asking which one of the lovely ladies would like to take him home and make him a sandwich. Mario Kart Tour is a depressing game to look at, not only because it is a low-quality facsimile of the real thing but because of the knowledge that mobile expectations of workmanship are so low that people will eat up the shoddy, low-effort design and spit out lots of moolah into Nintendo’s open pockets despite the readily available, higher quality, also portable version of Mario Kart being a step away.

Mario Kart Tour isn’t here to give you an enjoyable experience, that is literally not what it was made for. It has one goal and makes that very clear from the opening second of the game: Money and gambling. Lots of money and lots of gambling, especially for you children. The first thing you do in the game is “fire the cannon,” which is Nintendo’s kid friendly way of saying “open this loot box you [expletive deleted].” You open a loot box to determine your first character. You open a loot box after your first race. After three races and a short tutorial, what do you do? Open a loot box. And the game doesn’t let you drift away from the loot boxes either. In typical mobile tutorial fashion, it will lock every other section of the game until you relent because dammit you’re going to gamble and you’re going to like it. Otherwise you’re going to have no game, you indescribably cheap cretin.

There are 20 characters at the moment in Mario Kart Tour and you’ll need to unlock them one by one using (you guessed it) loot boxes. Odds of unlocking characters varies from the “normal” 5% to the “super” .26%. Yea, if you wanted to play as any of the standard racers like Mario, Peach, DK, Toad, Bowser, etc, you’ll be looking at 1% odds on the loot boxes. Because this game isn’t about fun, it’s about maximizing profits off of FOMO, compulsive collectors, and children with mom’s credit card. The same goes for your cart and the umbrella, which also unlock via loot box and have non-cosmetic effects like giving you more items per box or increasing your combo boosts. If you wanted to know why Dry Bowser has a .2% chance of unlocking, see how many levels choosing him as a character nets you bonus items.

Nintendo has also already started dabbling in time-limited loot box drops. Tomorrow (10/2) is the last day to get Pauline, her yellow taxi, and fare flier cart piece. Each one has a 1% chance of dropping in loot boxes. It will absolutely not be in the next limited loot box. It may be available at some point in the future, then again it may not. If it does reappear, it may have a higher chance of dropping and it may have a lower chance. Nintendo will never tell, because shut up and buy more currency.

Rarer goods also grant more opening bonus points, and others just straight up grant you 2x and 3x combo points. That’s important because Mario Kart Tour is less concerned with your place and more concerned with your points. Grab up those hot racers and vehicles and you’re basically a good way to a perfect five star rating before the map even begins.

Mario Kart Tour is deceptive from head to toe. First of all the game tricks you into thinking that you are playing against other people. You aren’t, the online mode isn’t in the game yet to play multiplayer matches with people around the world. You’ll kinda figure this out on your own pretty early, but Nintendo went to some lengths to hide the fact that you are playing solo. For starters every other racer has a genuine Nintendo usernames (a lot of Japanese letters). When you launch a map it actually goes through the process of mock filling up a lobby. As a result, you’re often needlessly put together in matches with many duplicate characters. I can understand that online, but in single player? What a joke.

Matches now consist of two laps instead of the Mario Kart industry standard three, presumably because some cynical boardroom meeting looked at cynically collected data and cynically suggested that two laps was the perfect amount of time to keep mobile gamers’ attention and three laps was just way too long.

You might be thinking the same thing that I did when you read “Mario Kart Tour” and “mobile game,” and that’s “haha I bet this game plays itself.” It does. By golly it does. Mario Kart Tour has auto-acceleration and auto-turning. I have set my phone down and came back to find that my character almost always made it in the top 3. It’s fine, the controls in this game are rotten garbage anyway. I can’t count how many times I saw my cart drifting sideways in defiance of most laws of gravity. It’s like your car is being pulled on an invisible rope behind and invisible car. It never feels like you are actually in control, more like an invisible hand gesturing the racer toward more gold coins.

Then you have the membership, which is why I brought up the Apple Arcade information earlier. Mario Kart Tour wants you to pay $5 per month for its membership, the same cost that will get you access to hundreds of better quality games. What do you get for your $5 gold pass? You get extra rewards from racing in tours, you get extra badges from gold challenges, and you get access to 200cc. Yep. 200cc is locked behind a subscription. By the way, I played through a few races on 200cc and didn’t touch the phone screen. I came in fourth nearly every time.

If you’re looking for guidance on whether to spend money on Mario Kart Tour you just need to look at another one of Nintendo’s egregious cash farms: Miitomo. When the news came that Nintendo would be shutting down that gacha game, what was the company’s response? A big middle finger pointing at their no refunds policy. Who doesn’t salivate at the prospect of a Mario Kart game that Nintendo intentionally produced to feel like a crap Chinese knockoff, that you’re expected to lay down more money for than the price of a Switch console, that Nintendo will throw up a big f*ck you and remove access to all of your purchases for once the game no longer rakes in the enormous monthly average revenue they expect? I already have my wallet out but it’s being dropped into the furnace.

I have no trust in Mario Kart Tour. There is a weekly ranked cup that grants rubies depending on your overall score which should offer unlimited replay (keep your score up, be the best guy) but I don’t trust it. I got to #1 rank with no effort on the cup, the other people are just first names (Anna, Jose, Clara). Are they real people? Did I get roped into a group with 20 people who all have first names as their usernames? Does Nintendo hide the usernames and post first names? I don’t know. I don’t think I’d trust Nintendo that these are real people and not just another cog in the bullshot machine if they managed to show me government identification from each player in my crew.

Is anyone in a group where the first place has 13,944 points? Because that’s me. Please tell me you are real.

Otherwise I have no opinion on the matter.

Playstation Credit Card: New Arbitration Rules, Late Fees, and Your Personal Info


Do you have a Playstation credit card? Keep reading.

Those of you who have Playstation credit cards will be getting an email shortly that you will most likely throw out because it says “important information about changes to your Playstation Card Account” and who ever pays attention to that boring garbage? Thankfully you have me, budding lawyer, to read the boring documents for you. You might also have opened the mail because it was sent by Comenity Bank, and they have nothing to do with the Playstation credit card. Well they didn’t anyway.

Comenity Bank is taking over Playstation’s credit card from Capital One, maybe because of that massive data breach. This all goes into effect in November 2019. Comenity is a brand under Alliance Data Card Services and used to be known as World Financial Capital Bank and World Financial Network [National] Bank. You may remember them because in 2011 company executives were called in to testify to Congress about a data breach.

So what does this change mean for you, you savvy handsome consumer? Well it means that your Capital One card is going away as of November 9 when it will be shut off and fully replaced with the new Playstation card. It also means that your Capital One Premium Access is going away. You will of course need to update your automatic payments as your new card will have different numbers and expiration dates. Paperless billing will need to be reset.

Those of you worried that you might need to sue Comenity Bank at some point in the future should be aware that while Capital One did not have forced arbitration, Comenity Bank absolutely does. Comenity won’t demand arbitration for small claims court lawsuits. Thankfully you have the right to reject the arbitration provision. Unfortunately it isn’t as easy as logging in and clicking a button. Thankfully it’s a lot easier than you may think. You don’t even need to consult an attorney.

Just fill out this Madlib with your information:

Your name
Your Address
Your Phone Number

Comenity Bank
PO Box 182422
Columbus Ohio, 43218-2422

To whom it may concern,

I, [insert name], reject the agreement to arbitrate as is my right in section C(1) of the Arbitration and Jury Waiver of the Dispute Resolution Provisions of the terms of service. Please confirm receipt of this letter and update my account accordingly.

[First name, last name]
[Account Number(s)]
[Billing Address]
[Signature]

Thank you,
[Your name]

Important to note is that you must sign the paper otherwise it is not binding. If there are multiple people on the card, they must all sign. It must also be sent within 30 calendar days after you receive notice that you have a right to reject the arbitration provision. In other words, when you receive this letter you probably threw out. Mail your notice here:

Comenity Bank
PO Box 182422
Columbus Ohio, 43218-2422

So why would you opt to arbitrate instead? Wellllllllll Comenity does have a provision that any arbitration hearing must take place in a location reasonably convenient to you. Comenity will also pay any and all fees of the arbitration including the arbitrator, reasonable attorneys fees and expert fees if you prevail, if it is required to enforce the arbitration, or if the law requires it. If you lose, you’re on your own which granted is probably still cheaper than a trial. It still should be noted that rejecting the arbitration agreement does not mean you lose the right to arbitration. But by not rejecting it, you definitely lose your right to a jury trial.

In regard to your personal information, Comenity Bank can and will share personal information and you can’t opt out of all of it. For example Comenity uses your personal data for processing transactions, reporting to credit bureaus, offering their own products to you, joint marketing with other financial institutions, and providing affiliates with information about your transactions and experiences. You can’t opt out of any of that.

You can opt out of information being provided to affiliates regarding “information about your creditworthiness” as well as information allowing affiliates and nonaffiliates to market to you. In order to limit your sharing, call 1-800-220-1181 (or 1-877-287-5012, the notice isn’t clear). For Capital One crossovers, you have 30 days until Comenity starts sharing your details. If you cancel your card without opting out, they will still share your info.

Finally the provisions are changing regarding late fees. For most people the late fee on the Playstation Credit Card should be $35. Under Comenity the late fee will be $29 for the first occurrence and then $40 for any subsequent occurrences within six billing periods.

So if you have a Playstation credit card, keep an eye on your mail. You’re going to need to get that rejection letter in in a timely manner otherwise you will lose your right to a jury trial.

Black Desert Sees Second Major Update


Pearly Abyss this week launched the second major update for Black Desert on Playstation 4.

The update introduces Awakening status for all ten classes, as well as two new classes and a new region. Awakening is a feature that permanently boosts a character’s power and allows them to unlock new skills and abilities. The two new classes being added are the Lahn and Ninja while the new region accessible to players is the Valencia desert region.

More information can be found at the official website.

Gamestop Recalls Fallout 76 Helmet Due To Mold Exposure


You didn’t think the Fallout 76…fallout was over, did you? From broken promises to broken mechanics, broken merchandise, and overall just an embarrassment to Bethesda, Fallout 76 continues its trek down “how can this get worse” avenue with the latest news this week. The Consumer Product Safety Commission has posted a recall notice for Fallout 76’s T-51b Power Armor helmet. Forget a low quality canvas bag, how about a $150 helmet that could (theoretically) kill you?

Yes, Gamestop is recalling the T-51b collector power armor helmet due to concerns of mold being present in the fabric inserts.

“Mold can be present on the fabric insert inside the helmet, posing a risk of respiratory or other infections in individuals with compromised immune systems, damaged lungs or an allergy to mold.”

The CPSC notes that there have been no reported incidents/injuries related to the product at this time. Owners of the helmet are being urged to stop playing with it and immediately call Gamestop in order to procure a refund. Gamestop is apparently reaching out to all known customers so you might be getting a phone call within the next couple of weeks.

Source: CPSC

ArcheAge Unchained Gets Chained To An October Delay


ArcheAge Unchained is all set to launch on September 30, by which I mean it is all set to launch on October 15.

The delay was announced just a couple of days ago on Gamigo’s stream and sent out some PR emails afterward confirming that the buy to play sidestep will indeed be delayed until mid next month.

“The gamigo group announces that the release date of the anticipated Online-MMORPG ArcheAge: Unchained has been moved to October 15th, 2019. The German publisher intends to prolong the Quality Assurance phase to ensure the in-game mechanics are fairly balanced and that new features, such as the ArchePass, are implemented properly. The decision is based on the overwhelmingly positive feedback from the community, which had a strong influence on the development of ArcheAge: Unchained since its announcement.”

Those of you who really don’t want to watch the livestream can just read the cliffnotes here. There are some interesting points such as Gamigo taking a much harder stand on gold buyers as well as mod users in Unchained (which begs the question on why they aren’t taking a stand on the standard servers).

ArcheAge Unchained is a buy to play side-project being launched by Gamigo. It promises to remove the pay to win aspects that are in the live version of ArcheAge and the two games will run side-by-side.

Column: Planetside Arena and the Friday Night Whatevers


It’s Friday night! I’m playing a few rounds of H1Z1 to get my anger on before throwing my Gamefly rental of Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for a good weekend film to watch.

I’m going to tell you my wonderful readers what I told Daybreak before Planetside Arena launched into Early Access this week: It’s a neat concept that definitely has something going for it, but your biggest struggle is going to be convincing people to play it. What I didn’t tell them because I didn’t want to seem to blunt or immediately burn bridges with the new PR people (the old ones stopped talking to me) is that they have an uphill battle for two reasons: First, they are Daybreak Game Company. Second, it’s a free to play battle royale game.

I’ll be frank; Daybreak Game Company doesn’t have a great reputation as far as battle royale games go considering how badly they managed to mess up Z1 Battle Royale and H1Z1 and grasp failure from the hands of market dominance in both cases. There are a lot of people still very angry about Daybreak’s continued mismanagement of the PS4 H1Z1 and I should know. I’m one of them. Expect an H1Z1 season 5 roundup at some point in the future. Actually Daybreak doesn’t have a great reputation period. It just seems like large swaths of people that they’ve come across have come away feeling burned in one way or another. Everquest players, Planetside players, H1Z1 players, the ones hanging on to those games that shut down like ten years ago. All of them. Daybreak couldn’t have a lower public perception if John Smedley was still employed and inviting people to DDOS the servers again.

Second; it’s a free to play battle royale game in a market full to the brim. Sure, Planetside Arena has massive battles with upwards of 300 people. Is it filling them up? Nah. We’re in the opening Friday night and the game is having trouble keeping above 700 people concurrently. There are over 1,300 people playing Planetside 2, nearly double the amount in Planetside Arena and one of those games is seven years old while the other should be getting its early access launch rush. Over on the Twitch side of things, Planetside Arena has 434 viewers as of this publishing. You know what has more? H1Z1. So people aren’t playing and they aren’t really interested in watching and again, we’re in weekend #1.

And ultimately Planetside Arena isn’t even that bad of a game, which is why I’m sitting here typing about it at nearly 1am on a Saturday when I could be doing weekend stuff like sleeping. My big fear with Planetside Arena is that it would release to a shrug and a “whatever,” and that appears to be exactly what is happening. Who knows, maybe Daybreak can pull it around and convince people to actually play the game. They haven’t managed it with the streamers, but after all this is just weekend #1 and who ever said you only get one chance at a launch?

Oh right.

Play Funcom’s Conan Threesome Free Over The Weekend


If you’ve ever wanted to play all three of Funcom’s Conan games and not have to pay anything for the privilege, you’re in luck. Starting September 19 and running through September 23, you can download Conan Exiles and Conan Unconquered. You can also play Age of Conan which was already free to play, but just pretend that it’s one of those play now keep forever deals that you can play whenever and also keep.

So if your taste is MMO, tower defense, or survival sandbox, you’re in for a treat this weekend.